trustfell | It keeps happening

It keeps happening

[After that horror show of an execution, Mordecai is still restless from the investigation and trial. He has too much pent-up energy, and plenty of others are sure to be upset, too. Ashley was loved by nearly all of them, the trial was mentally draining, and that execution was crueler than it should have been.

Two hours after everyone has returned to their rooms, they'll find a note slipped under their doors.]

We can't go on with empty stomachs. There's food in the kitchen, and the dining room is always open if you need someone to talk to.

Please keep anything outside of eating and civilized conversation away from the dining hall. That room is meant to be a peaceful place for those of us that need it.

-Mordecai Benmont Jiminy

[Today, there's cream of tomato soup warming up on the stove with a set of bowls besides it. It's a more mindless dish to prepare than mashed potatoes, as much as Mordecai wants to vent his frustrations on the potatoes.

He decides to follow Cabanela's tradition and lights one more candle, and after some consideration, lights a sixth. Let those who cared about either girl pay their respects.]

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[ He's not entirely sure why, but for some reason, he feels like he wants to talk to Hibiki — especially after the way that last part of the trial went down, the way everybody started arguing with each other. He'd sort of expected Hibiki to react the way she did, but not quite as strongly as she did.

Then again, he hadn't thought he would feel quite as strongly about everything that trial was as he did.

So after a while, she'll get a knock on her door. ]

Hey... It's Bakugou.

[To say she's not expecting company would be a lie. After spending three weeks in this place, she thinks it's safe to assume there are people looking out for her and interested in knowing her. That's why she brings food back to her room.

She also brought back her favorite chicken to cry on and sleep with, that's an easy way to combat loneliness.

Still, when she hears the knock at the door, she's expecting Youko or Susan or maybe Sol. When it's Bakugou's voice, she falters for a second. She's not even sure how he'd reacted to her yelling, there had been so much going on.

So instead of opening up and letting him inside, she talks to him through the door first. ...Ugh, she kind of doesn't want to, but only because she feels like she might be getting ready to ride another roller coaster.

But, being an idol, her voice comes out surprisingly chipper. Because she wants it to be.]

Heya, Bakugou! What is it? Do ya need somethin'?

... Not really, I guess.

[ Man, he's bad at this. He doesn't normally do this kind of thing, okay, he feels like he should get points for effort here. He doesn't even know what he wants out of this potential conversation. Maybe just to establish that we're all a little fucked up but still alive, and alive is good? ]

I'm not here to get super deep with you, just... for your information. I mean, unless you want to.

[ In which case, he supposes he could... try... but that trial was exhausting and he's not really in the mood for that. Even on a good day, he might not game for that either. ]

... Do you maybe wanna go feed the chickens or something.

[ Oh god he did try. ]

[Well, as soon as he mentions chickens, Dorika starts clucking from the other side of the door, leaving Hibiki speechless for a moment. She's trying to hide the fact she's stealing a chicken for company at night. The entire place doesn't need to know how lonely she is without someone with her.

Too late for that.]

I already fed Dorika.

[She doesn't really want to walk past everyone. She started that argument, she said something horrible, and she can't even bring herself to regret it, not with Ashley's dollhouse sitting on her desk.]

...Do you wanna come in? You can feed her if you want.

[She'll offer, at least. She can appreciate that effort is being made between the two of them, but she needs to stay in her room for now.]

[ He meant the chickens in the chicken room, but hey, Dorika is a chicken too. And he may be a jerk often, but not the type of jerk who thinks it's weird to like a chicken enough to want to keep it in their room.

Aaaand he'll take that as implicit confirmation Hibiki is probably okay with his presence at the moment. ]

Sure, if you don't mind. And if Dorika doesn't mind being fed again, for that matter.

[Dorika is her excuse to not go back out there, don't think too much on it. After a moment, the door to her room clicks and she steps back, telling him to come inside.

The inside of her room is clean, possibly cleaner than one might expect from a wild child such as herself. There's a dollhouse on her desk next to a photo of herself with more animals than anyone should ever own. There's also a cream-colored iPod with headphones and brown pawprints on it. All of her other items are in her trunk or elsewhere, and the food is on her bathroom counter where any mess would be easy to clean up, should he want something to eat.

There's surprisingly no overwhelming chicken scent or a chicken bathroom anywhere. Hibiki's serious when she says Dorika lets her know when she needs to be let out.

She's also changed into the school uniform after a shower, though her uniforms both have pants. That's one thing this place got right. She might be girly on stage, but she's not a girly outfit person off of it.]

There's a lot of stuff in here, huh? Hope it's not too messy for ya.

[Dorika watches Bakugou from underneath the chair, clucking occasionally.]

Nah, my room is probably messier.

[ Which isn't significantly messier, he just has a tendency to hoard. Also, he has a shame pile of weapons stashed in his own room, so Hibiki's room automatically wins!

He glances at Dorika, but doesn't stare aggressively or anything like that — maybe it's because he's tapped into natural instinct pretty strongly, but he generally gets along well enough with animals, although he doesn't... know how to bond with chickens... ]

... That reminds me, I keep meaning to mention this to you. One of my classmates from back home, he's also an animal whisperer.

[ The one with a rock-shaped head for no reason, the one and only petting hero. ]

Is it? ...Come to think of it, I think this is the first time I've ever had a guy in my room.

[Remember that part of Hibiki that's an idiot who says things without thinking? Well, she just did that, and she wishes she could take it back.

But she's also too tired to care. Dorika looks between the two of them before standing and going about her chicken business, poking around before she'll settle on the bed at some point.]

An animal wh...oh, you mean he understands animals, too? That's really impressive! Most people kinda look at me funny when I start talkin' to their pets without askin'. Is he a hero, too?

[ It's a good thing Bakugou is moderately oblivious to some things because mostly he's just like "oh cool I'm the first at something" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ]

Yeah, he is... I don't really know a lot about him, though. [ Even less than he knows about his other classmates... ] I don't think I've ever heard him talk, like literally even once. Maybe he just likes talking to animals better?

[ Bakugou wouldn't even blame him for that, honestly... ]

He's quiet, huh? Hehe, he sounds like the exact opposite of me. [Though, after the trial...Hibiki's expression changes.] But I should probably talk a lot less sometimes, huh. At least I've got Dorika.

[And there's a soft cluck from a preening hen on the bed. That's how it always is for her. She hates being alone, so she talks to animals instead.]

[ It was kinda hard to miss that Hibiki was getting a whole lot of flak from various people at the end of the trial there, so Bakugou thinks he knows where that comment is coming from. ]

... You know, I haven't agreed with you on stuff since basically we first got here. You said you wanted to trust in people, I said that I think trust needs to be earned. And I don't see a problem with that, so... even if we disagree on stuff, it's not like I'm gonna think any less of you.

[ People should be judged on their capabilities above all else, he thinks. except that midoriya because he'll probably be buttmad over midoriya existing for his entire life but hey ]

I mean, I would be pissed the fuck off if you said you thought less of me for disagreeing with you, but I wouldn't care about the fact that we disagree in the first place.

[ ... ]

Anyway, that was a load of bullshit you may or may not have actually wanted to hear, so feel free to ignore it at will.

[ We don't have to talk about emotions!! REALLY WE DON'T!!! ]

That was before everyone started murderin' each other and the Conductor made everythin' worse. I'm definitely, definitely thinkin' more along your lines now.

[When you put everyone together and death starts to happen, it's hard not to become wary. Like she told Giovanni. She's not going to let anyone else get the best of her, not here, not like what happened to Ken, to Byakuren(?), to Ashley.]

But I'm not upset that people disagree with me! I'm not a kid.

[And she takes a seat on the bed and pulls Dorika onto her lap. Dorika is happy to oblige. It's less distressing when she's running a hand over some feathers.]

Geez! I don't dislike you or anythin'. None of these things are what I'm upset about at all. Everyone is different, everyone fights...I already know that.

Oh. Okay, then. [ ... ] Honestly speaking, if that's not why you're upset, I've got no idea why you might be.

[

]

Or why a bunch of other people here seem to be upset, for that matter.

[ He's too inherently self-centered to care too much about people trying to take moral high grounds against each other... ]

It's alright. It's nothin' I'd expect you to understand! I mean...not everythin' has one answer, so no one can know everything.

[To Bakugou's luck, Hibiki completely misses that he's an idiot because she's relieved she doesn't have to talk about it and can talk about other things.

Unfortunately for Hibiki, she can really only think about Ashley right now.]

Hey, Bakugou...do you think everyone here could be a murderer?

I have a really hard time thinking that some of the people here could become a murderer, but... for most of us, I'm beginning to feel like it's pretty situational.

[ He feels like this next part might be a bit much to admit, but he's just going to yolo it. ]

... I don't even know how to answer that question for myself, at this point.

Right? At the trial, people were sayin' that anyone could kill here...but I've seen it, murder isn't solvin' anything! But it felt like everyone was sayin' it couldn't have prevented.

[And that doesn't make sense to her. At all. Asuka could have held back. Even if another murder did happen, it could have happened later. They are not powerless here.

But her hand stops on Dorika and they both look up at him.]

...What's that supposed to mean?

... I'm saying that I can think of circumstances where I can't say for certain that I wouldn't kill. Like if I got attacked, and I seriously thought it was a do or die situation, I don't know how I'd react. And that makes me feel fairly shitty, but —

[ He's supposed to be a hero in training, isn't he? The best course is obvious: make sure everybody makes it out alive. But he's only ever thought about defeating enemies before, not how to protect others, and he's realized after that trial that maybe he needs to start thinking about both of those things. And he sure as hell has never thought about the reasons why somebody might be driven to murder, about why somebody might weigh twenty-odd lives against thousands or millions and decide they can live with that burden.

It's not a good feeling. The expression on his face screams he does not find this a good feeling. ]

But that's the truth. I don't know, and I hope I never have to find out. Because I sure as hell don't want to ever find out.

[How could he?

After what happened to Ashley, being murdered by someone she trusted regardless of motive, he comes in here and says that he thinks he could kill if the reasoning is right?

Hibiki's mouth hangs open in surprise, and Dorika stands up on her lap like an animal trying to protect its owner.]

What are you sayin'? Are you telling me that you can't be trusted?

... I'm saying I don't know. I'm not going to pretend like that's alright, though. It's... that's fucked up! I know it's fucked up!

[ He has never particularly thought of himself as a good person, so the idea that this might make him a bad person doesn't bother him much. The fact that he isn't sure of what he would do, how far he would go to survive... that does bother him a lot.

"The strongest hero is the one who wins in the end."

The words feel different to him now, somehow, in a way he can't quite pinpoint. ]

But I don't want anybody else to die, that's the truth. I — I mean, what the hell kind of hero would want that?

[It shouldn't be "I don't know," right? How could anyone think otherwise? Either they can kill or they can't. And to talk like this, almost like he could be the next Asuka...it makes Hibiki angry, her face hardening as she stands up.]

I don't know anything about heroes! I don't even know why you're tellin' me this!

[But "I don't know" is not how you answer a question about trust. She's not the strongest person in the building. She knows that. She loves people, just like Ashley did, and...]

Get out! If you don't think you can be trusted, then I can't trust you, either! I'm not gonna be the next... ...I'm not gonna be next!

[ For a moment, he looks almost hurt — injured might be the better word to use. He just admitted that he doesn't know if he could be manipulated into killing or not, but the implication there that he could possibly kill Hibiki personally does not sit right with him at all. ]

[ He gets up and shoves his hands into his pockets. (The unfinished glove is still in his right pocket, serving as a little reminder: no matter how upset he is, if he reacts, if he smashes a fist against the wall to lash out like he kind of wants to do right now, he's just proving he can't be trusted all the more. Better to just dig his nails into his palms.) ]

Fine. I'll leave you alone, then.

[ And so he will, he'll probably even go out of his way to give her space for a few days at the very least, deliberately not going into rooms that she's already in if he can help it.

He is not above a parting shot as he passes through her bedroom door on his way out, though. ]

... But just so you know, I think that your way of thinking is pretty fucked up too.

[ And then he'll close the door behind him. Going out the mature way, nice one. ]

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