at the end of the river, the sundown beams

[destage]

[Well...that trial was most certainly a thing, now wasn't it.

It's probably a while after the trial that some notes will be going underneath people's doors, written in a nice, clean scrawl--]

For anyone who hasn't gotten anything to eat, there will be food and refreshments provided in the dining room courtesy of Estelle-san and I. Feel free to take as much as you need.

Please stay strong, everyone.

♥ Estelle and Sayaka

[True to the word, there's plenty of food to go around--potato stew courtesy of Estelle, and curry courtesy of Sayaka. There's coffee and tea out as well, for anyone to drink, and...well, it's more or less an optional thing. After today, some might need it.]

Comments

[destage]

[...It takes a while before Sayaka properly speaks up--she's consumed by those feelings, feelings that...really, she should be killing dead. She's a failure of an idol for not keeping her smile up. She should be in the dining room right now, all smiles and waves and kindness and comforting everyone, and she can hear her managers in her head right now. Telling her to drop the tears, get that smile back on her face, and help people.

It's...unpleasant, but the melody that Elda plays is helping drown out those thoughts by a lot. It's...nice, actually, and calming as hell for someone as high strung as Sayaka. Once Elda's done, she'll...speak up, very, very softly,]

...I...know it isn't for my sake, but... [She sniffles a bit.] T-Thank you.

[matchbreaker]

[ No, it's not for her sake. It's for her own amusement, something to clear her own thoughts. There is absolutely, absolutely no way that she would be playing that piece to try to make things easier for some human brat.

No way.

Still, the thanks strike her, and she pauses, looking down at the girl before she inhales and clarifies: ]

I'm a vampire, you know.

[ She begins to play some random melody, quietly, just to fill the background. ]

[destage]

[Sayaka waits, politely, until the end of Elda's melody before speaking again. Her tone's...kind.]

...I...I figured that might be the case. W-When you brought up the bats, and...cleared the space for my neck. It was either that or...a youkai of some kind.

[She's Attentive for a reason, it seems.]

I kn--knew better than to ask, then.

[matchbreaker]

Yeah, that wouldn't have been the time.

[ She considers playing again, just to have more noise that Sayaka's mess of words, her pained sobs filling the air if they're going to continue to talk. She ... ]

So I suppose that boy was right to have me on the list.

[destage]

...He shouldn't have made the list in the first place. It wasn't any of his business.

[Her tone's...surprisingly even, when she says that, and it's filled with disdain that's usually reserved for the paparazzi. It goes back to some very...choked words, when she speaks again.]

If--If he wasn't such an idiot--Caren-san, she'd still be here--

[matchbreaker]

Yeah, she wouldn't have had to be our example.

[ Someone would have died though. They'd made no progress on escape. In the absolute best case, then someone would have been killed by that timer and then... what, perhaps Elda herself would take action? And then she'd be standing alone on a pile of corpses or impaled many times by Alena.

... These are comforting thoughts.

But those are what could have been. What was is terrible to begin with. ]

... I'd been a fool this week, honestly.

[destage]

[No one should have been is what Sayaka wants to shout, but--]

...Marker-san? [Her tone's inquisitive, like...she's asking her to continue, even if it's probably not going to be good.] What...do you mean?

[matchbreaker]

I mean, I must've known on some level. Realistically, I should have just killed Green or something and be done with it, get the rest of us out. The fact I didn't I suppose means I knew the whole time that it wasn't that simple.

[ Her argument with Jericho, that everyone else would need to die. ]

[destage]

[...God.]

...I wouldn't...want you to be our example, either.

[God.]

It wouldn't have ended well. For anyone. No one--no one deserved that.

[Honestly, she almost wishes Jean were the one who lived. Maybe it'd make this all feel better.]

[matchbreaker]

[ Plenty of people deserve that.

But... she can't say for sure anyone here does. not that sort of shameful witch hunt of a trial, not that brutal execution. She frowns to herself, looking down at the keys again. She exhales. ]

... You can keep crying, you know. No one's going to even begin to hear it over me.

[ And at least for one song again, she starts up again. There's more flubs than in the link of course, but she goes for something like that. ]

[destage]

[...In that case, Sayaka nods her head and just--let's her emotions out again. Muffled crying by virtue of having her knees up to her face, and her arms defending her like some sort of fortress of emotions.

She's...thankful, really, that Elda hasn't made her feel so terrible for this. She appreciates it more than anything, even with the flubs in the music. It's...]

...Mmm. [God, she feels her eyes starting to dry up.] T--Thank you, again, Marker-san. F...for not judging me.

[matchbreaker]

[ Judging her... She frowns a little deeper, and as she trails off on the playing, she frowns. Her cheeks color. Is that even true? Not really? ]

... Well, whatever flaws you might have are things that can't be helped. Crying when something overwhelming happens sure isn't one of them.

[ She looks down at the keys. Honestly, she wonders, what'll make her cry, if anything, here? She thought she might, but for how much she related and projected on that Caren girl, it's not like she really knew her that much. ]

[destage]

An Idol isn't...isn't supposed to cry, though. She's...supposed to help people when they're suffering.

[It's stated, harsher than she would have liked--and she finders her hands going and gripping at her hair, pulling on it.]

If--If they all saw me like this, they'd...they'd just think I'm weak.

[matchbreaker]

Well bully on them.

[ It's said flatly. ]

[destage]

...It's not that simple.

[Stated as an absolute, while she just...buries her face deeper, making her words come out muffled.]

I have to be better than this. For everyone's sake.

[matchbreaker]

[ . . . ]

Why? You're not actually a doll, you know.

[destage]

[... ... ...]

Then I need to get better. I'll...I'll fail as an Idol, if I can't, and they'll...

[She starts to get up--she's already stated too much in the heat of the moment, and she won't understand. She doesn't, that much is already clear, and she needs to get herself together.]

[matchbreaker]

Stop. Sit back down, girl.

[ Her voice comes out firm and commanding, pressing down on the keys. There's a lout booming noise to come with that. And she frowns a bit deeper. No, apparently she hit something she didn't mean to. She exhales. ]

... You're human, and if you ask me that's regrettable as is. I didn't mean to poke at more than that.

[destage]

--Ah!

[She made her upset. She made her upset, and she immediately sits down when Elda tells her to. That's bad, this is bad, she just...

She...needs to breathe. Okay, just...]

...It's...fine. Don't worry about it.

[...she doesn't smile, because she figures Elda would ask more questions, but...well, she'll go back to that balled position on the floor.]

[matchbreaker]

[ She doesn't question her, actually.

She doesn't really... know what's the right thing to say. For Sayaka, for herself? In lieu of that, she just plays another song. It's one a little more uplifting than the last few, at least in her head. It's meant to give Sayaka some time to calm down a little, maybe decide if she wants to say anything more to her or not.

If she doesn't, that's fine too. ]