trustfell | at the end of the river, the sundown beams

at the end of the river, the sundown beams

[Well...that trial was most certainly a thing, now wasn't it.

It's probably a while after the trial that some notes will be going underneath people's doors, written in a nice, clean scrawl--]

For anyone who hasn't gotten anything to eat, there will be food and refreshments provided in the dining room courtesy of Estelle-san and I. Feel free to take as much as you need.

Please stay strong, everyone.

♥ Estelle and Sayaka

[True to the word, there's plenty of food to go around--potato stew courtesy of Estelle, and curry courtesy of Sayaka. There's coffee and tea out as well, for anyone to drink, and...well, it's more or less an optional thing. After today, some might need it.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[When Rin glances Estelle's way to see if she noticed that little slip, it's impossible not to catch on that the princess has been watching her. Naturally, their eyes meet. Welp, her it comes. With that aforementioned blunt personality, of course she's going to berate Estelle for how rude it is, and tell her to mind her own business.

...except she doesn't. Instead Rin glances away almost immediately, shamefaced and flushing scarlet. Scooping up the packet, she quickly gets back to her feet and drops it with the others back on top of the washing machine. BACK TO... PICKING OUT THINGS...

But she's nervously watching Estelle out of the corner of her eye now.]

[When their eyes meet, Estelle looks back to her washer knowing she was caught. She expects a retort of some kind, but is a little amazed she's met with silence. Of course, she had spoken with Rin before the trial so she knows she's not a mean girl, and perhaps her reaction was over the top, even if she felt her emotions were valid back then and that Caren didn't need someone telling her all that.

Well, she told Kimblee, so maybe it would just be best to clear up that understanding.]

Um...

[Well, here she goes, she's going to speak. Even if Rin doesn't respond, Estelle still says her piece.]

I accidentally killed someone before we arrived here. That's why I got upset at what you said at the trial because I knew how Caren felt.

[...Estelle can't hate someone for more than two seconds, let's be real.]

[Rin tenses when addressed, only to react in almost the next moment. Oh, thank goodness. She didn't ask about it, she just confessed to accidentally murdering someone—wait, what.]

...The same way?

[She shakes her head.]

Back home I'm capable of healing magic. We humans aren't capable of magic without the aid of a Blastia, yet I am able to cast it naturally. So when I see someone who's injured, I heal them. So for humans, my magic is a good thing.

[She takes a deep breath.]

For godlike beings known as Entelexeia, my power is a poison. I found that out... too late... She was injured and all I thought was to heal her. Instead I killed her.

[...hm.

Rin finishes what she was doing and leans over to turn the washing machine on. Water thunders against the basin, but no so loudly that Rin can't be heard when she speaks again.]

Don't you think you're projecting?

[There's that directness again, but unlike at the trial, this time Rin isn't speaking with any hostility. It's more like the way someone helping you with your math homework reminds you you forgot to carry the two, let me show you.]

I understand the pain of unexpected accidents, whether you're the cause of them or not [it's right there on her dislikes], but they're not static. Even similar tragedies have differences; the same is true of what happened today and yours.

[Estelle can tell the difference this time with the way it's said. It doesn't make her flinch or anything of the like instead she looks at her washer as it's going on a spin cycle, adding to the volume in the room.]

Even so, the guilt one feels is likely the same. No one wants to be constantly reminded they've made a fatal mistake.

[She knows there's a huge difference, but it's the feeling one has when accidentally causing a death is what she's speaking of.]

No one wants to be told over and over, let alone chastised. Even if that's maybe what she wanted in that moment.

[No one chastised her when she killed Belius. They didn't comfort her, either, but they got her to get up and move on from the incident.]

[Frowning, Rin measures out the detergent with a hand that shakes slightly; steadies again as she pours the soap into the water. Suds multiply, thing at first but growing fluffier as the water churns it.

...She can't relate to that feeling at all.

Rin has the habit of making critical mistakes at the worst moment, and bad ones at that, but she's never felt guilty about them. No matter how hard, she's been able to smooth over every regret in her life quickly, taking the proper lesson away from it and proceeding forward.]

She wanted it in that moment because it was her last. Forgiving her is like saying she didn't deserve it; she didn't at all, and we all knew that. But to walk into that pit of her own volition, Caren had to convince herself she did in order to stay strong.

I must disagree.

[She shakes her head once more.]

She was strong and she knew how to stay strong and indeed convinced herself of that. However, your words were entirely unnecessary.

[She's firm about saying this, but she's not upset. Right now, she's speaking from experience, speaking from being someone who's been rightfully chastised about a lot of things. Estelle knows she's naive and inexperienced, but that doesn't mean she lacks emotion and feelings and that also doesn't mean she can't learn and adapt.

She knows she's a lot of things due to her lack of experience of the outside world.]

While people may agree she shouldn't have been out at night, she did the right thing to defend herself when she felt she was in danger. [It wasn't until now that Estelle realized the severity of their situation. Yet people still want to band together. It's admirable, she thinks.]

Whether you chose to forgive someone is a personal choice, also. If you didn't want to forgive her, that's fine. I made my own choice to forgive her.

[They're going to have to continue to disagree on that, then. The words that pushed Estelle over the edge were said for her sake, not Caren's, so in her mind they were completely necessary. But she's not the type to continue to argue knowing whatever she has to say will be ignored.

She'll say her piece once when she thinks it's needed, but for Rin the buck stops there. People can either choose to accept her advice or disregard it entirely, but whatever do is their own business.

But while she'll drop that, she won't let the misconceptions slide. Rin half-turns towards Estelle calm as can be, somewhat unimpressed but more perplexed than anything.]

Who said I didn't forgive? Or that I even thought she was wrong for defending herself? If it were me, I would have kicked Jean in a place that would put the "Ascend" in "Ascendant", so far as his voice was concerned.

Then why chastise her?

[Estelle is a type of person that can't be pushed to the edge because there's no figurative edge to be pushed. Either she bounces right back or she takes things to heart and changes just a bit.

Though this is a unique situation where she feels such words were uncalled for.

Even if they were for her. As she said, Rin doesn't know her situation so she'd rather not have someone comment on it. Though she does know the situation now since Estelle wanted to clear that up.]

I can't ignore a mistake just because the end result is too tragic. When a situation is as dire as the one we're in, you could say it's because the result is tragic that I must acknowledge it.

[Especially when there are four or five people telling a girl she did nothing wrong. That's not true. Caren was right to defend herself, and Rin will never take issue with that, but she never should have been out there in the first place, thinking she could prevent a murder when she could barely protect herself.

Dislikes: altruism]

It was a simple admonishment that snowballed when you attempted to put me in a corner.

[It was her response to Estelle that seemed to piss everyone off the most, but... Rin probably would have left it at that if Estelle hadn't struck a nerve with her as well. Because it was disrespectful to Caren to gloss over the mistake, from her point of view; because if the people sentencing her to die didn't learn from it, what good are they?

That Estelle belittled that made her so angry. Everyone who also missed the point made her angry.

Thinking about it like this, she can feel her temper reignite, burning cool and not hot this time as Rin sucks in a breath at the way the pain in her arm flares in response, overly sensitive to the stress. Painstakingly she maintains her composure, focus dropping to the container of laundry detergent as she screws the cap back on.]

I don't care if people want to save others, but to do so without considering your limitations is reckless and more likely to get you or the person you're trying to save murdered in the process. There was never going to be a better time. Not when we can't guarantee that all 33 of us will even be alive tomorrow.

[...contrary to all the people who couldn't believe this happened, Rin's just surprised it didn't happen sooner. It was going to, and will again if they don't find a way out first.]

We know it was a mistake. Everyone does. Rin, everyone understands this.

[She takes a deep breath not trying to let this get to her. As far as she's concerned, Rin is just a bully, but that's okay. It really is. It's why she'll take whatever she can with grace even if Rin keeps attacking her character and the vulnerable information she's given her.]

Don't tell us otherwise and think that we're simply turning a blind eye to this.

That's yet to be determined, isn't it? [Into the washing machine her clothes go, and the lid drops closed after them with a clang.] Well, I'd be pleased to be proven wrong.

[She says it with an air of finality, like that's the end of that conversation. Estelle is free to think what she wants about her, but she's way off base if she thinks Rin will use her trauma against her.]

[Well, she doesn't like that Rin's assuming everyone is like this, but that's up to her to decide. Maybe they're off base with each other, but she makes no way to try to clear up any potential understanding since the girl has decided she's right.

She reminds her a bit of Rita, but even Rita showed leeway when she realized she may have been wrong.

So that's probably the end of that conversation and Estelle won't bring it up anymore.]

[It's more that Rin has seen no evidence to prove she is wrong yet. That might change in time; she's actually quite good about correcting herself when she realizes she's made an error, but she already apologized for her lack of tact at the trial, once to Kimblee, and then to Caren herself.

What more do they want from her? A written copy signed in blood? If it's solely for the sake of appeasing their personal disproval, they're not going to get it.]

[Rin sighs loudly.]

This will take a bit. [Sweeping the little packets off the washing machine, Rin glances at the door.] I'm going to get ice cream. What flavor do you like?

[When Rin asks that, Estelle claps her hands together and smiles-- almost like their conversation didn't happen.]

I like strawberry!

[That's a 180, but it's better. Rin smiles lightly.]

I should have guessed. Okay, I'll be back soon then.

[Estelle is the forgive and forget kind. She won't hold grudges. It's too sad and too much energy.]

Okay. I'll be waiting!

[Aaaaaand here we go.]

I'm back.

[She skipped the bowls and brought a whole damn carton. Two damn cartons; strawberry for Estelle and mint chocolate for herself.]

...oh!

[She gives Rin a sheepish smile though she takes the carton.

...she almost feels uncomfortable eating out of the carton.]

U-um...

[Should she say something? Though Yuri and Rita would tell her it's no big deal.

Right, she just remains quiet and stares at the carton before--]

O-oh right, thank you!

[She'll give Rin a small, but polite bow before she stares at the ice cream carton once more.]

Don't forget the spoon.

[Rin hands that to her next before going to sit down.]

Don't worry, it won't bite you so long as you do the opposite.

[She grabs the spoon and looks at the ice cream.]

What should I do if I can't eat it all?

[It seems rude to eat out of the ice cream directly and put it back.]

[...oh, right. There's a little pause here like Rin hadn't thought of that, but then she just shrugs.]

We have pens and markers in the storage room. You can either claim the carton by writing your name on it, or you can scoop the parts you ate around into it's own bowl and put back the rest.

I suppose I could and it's not like there wouldn't be enough for everyone else...

[So there's no problem feeling like she's hoarding it. As if reaching a silent conclusion, she nods.]

Yes, I think I will do that.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

at the end of the river, the sundown beams

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject