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don't wait for a knight in shinin' armor, your savior's reflected in the mirror
[That sure was a fucking thing. That execution was a fucking thing. Those secrets are a fucking thing.
Cabanela retreats to his room, but not for all that long. Everyone will get a note eventually, written in very neat handwriting
I do not plan on bowing down to threats and intimidation. If you did not act, it means you were, like me, aware of the risk, but decided against it. Your reasons are entirely your own.
Join me in the dining room if you agree enough is enough, and that you won't acquiesce to threats. I don't plan to let this stop me, and neither should you.
-C
In the dining room itself, Cabanela has set up coffee and tea for those who want it-- there's no food, because to be honest, he doesn't know how to cook. Two more candles have been lit-- he wasn't really sure what to do about the whole... parasite thing... so Fern's candle will have to make due.]
Cabanela retreats to his room, but not for all that long. Everyone will get a note eventually, written in very neat handwriting
I do not plan on bowing down to threats and intimidation. If you did not act, it means you were, like me, aware of the risk, but decided against it. Your reasons are entirely your own.
Join me in the dining room if you agree enough is enough, and that you won't acquiesce to threats. I don't plan to let this stop me, and neither should you.
-C
In the dining room itself, Cabanela has set up coffee and tea for those who want it-- there's no food, because to be honest, he doesn't know how to cook. Two more candles have been lit-- he wasn't really sure what to do about the whole... parasite thing... so Fern's candle will have to make due.]
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How much time did you spend on that island?
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[Drawing back her shoulders, Rin's expression is momentarily pained as the motion pulls at certain muscles, but it smooths out a moment later as she makes herself comfortable again.]
The girl it mentions there... She's the one that was missing from those photos, isn't she?
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Clarissa. She... The Sunken liked her. She was...easy to possess. I remembered, Sunday, that they... One time- or apparently more than one time- they offered me a choice. Let us keep the girl, and you and your friends go free. Or, I could get them out of her and...trap myself in there with them.
[ ... ]
Guess I made the wrong one more than I'd've liked.
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[There's something about what Alex describes that tugs uncomfortably at Rin; that brings to mind memories that aren't her own.
If they were having this conversation two days later she'd be able to pinpoint what it is, but tonight it only gnaws at her. Aggravating her.]
Ignoring there's too many strange things at work here, you shouldn't beat yourself up about that. If that's exactly how they worded the choice, you couldn't expect those consequences, and it's natural to want to save yourself.
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[ Heartless, dismissive... ]
That's not just...a dream. That's part of me.
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That's a part of you, too. In the end, I bet you made the opposite choice and saved her more times than you doomed her.
[...she's sure of it, actually, and that's part of what bothers her.]
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[ Ah. She swallows that down. It's an outburst, a bit of an emotional one, which...might be a surprise? ]
She...we just didn't get along. [ "Have you ever stared into nothing and moved with it and felt apart in it?!" ] She had her reasons. We were both... We were more alike than I realized.
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That feels like too tender a wound to pry into.
It speaks of a connection made after the fact, or maybe one so deeply buried it was only remembered after the fact. Despite that if this Clarissa was erased from existence, even from photographs, Alex shouldn't remember her in the first place.
None of that, none of the thoughts running through Rin's mind need to be said right now.
There are a few other things she could say instead, but for now Rin's going to reach out and just brace a hand on Alex's shoulder. It's a gesture that's meant to be supportive.]
cw suicidal imagery
Clarissa. Clarissa, reaching out to her. Clarissa, trying to get to know her. Clarissa, wracked with grief. Clarissa, bitterly seething. Clarissa, hanging from the ceiling. Falling from that window. Twisted and floating, eyes red.
"So, I think it'd be cool if we could, like, continue to do things together."
*
"She'll be happier with us."
*
"Nobody named Clarissa came with us, this is the group. This has been it all night."
It's all a rush, and it's...
Flinches, but then...relaxes. No, sinks and droops, head falling forward.
She wants to cry. It's been built up in here all week, what she's been running from. That she couldn't possibly do that. That she did that. That she kept doing that, that, this girl whose only crime was being too fucking depressed-
Her breath catches in her throat and her eyes are hot. She hasn't...cried yet. Since waking up that morning, she's kept herself from it. Now... ]
S-sorry. Sorry, I--! [ It could have been so different. ]
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Do you even know what you're sorry for? [A reprimand, soft as it is.] I'm telling you you don't have to be sorry, so you can't be saying that to me.
[Alex is probably just saying it because it's the only thing that exists in her heart right now, emotions running too high and condensed down to one thing. Rin sometimes has difficulty relating to others. She shouldn't be able to understand in the first place because of this, but she recognizes it: an overwhelming wave of anguish and regret. It's probably too hard to feel anything else in the face of it.
Rin keeps her hand in the same spot.]
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But she shakes her head gently and remains there. She's sorry. She's sorry, she really is. ...Even if it's not to Rin. She's sorry, to the person who deserves those words. ]
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Rin eyes the door, debating what would make Alex feel better. Should she get up and close it for some sense of privacy? They both came her not expecting anyone, but it probably feels safer after a day like today with it open.]
I don't know everything you've been through. If I did, I'm sure it would make me angry.
[For a person like this, it's too sad. Rin looks back at Alex, and pats her shoulder.]
It sounds like a lot, so why don't you take a minute? Or even ten. No one else is going to be coming this way, and if they do, I'll handle them.
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[ She's able to get that out, and maybe she's trying to thank her, but no other words can come. There's been so much. She never wanted it again, blood on her hands, but it looks like there was much more than she ever could've thought.
And it just keeps on piling up, with today...
So, yeah. There's a bit too much right now, and she sniffles and sobs, curling into herself with a jerky nod. Okay. Sure, that...seems like something she can do. ]
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Her neck hurts a lot, but... She can take care of that later. Rin will stay by Alex's side for as long as she needs.]