[This is a lot to take in. At first, Hibiki feels really stupid. She's been struggling with her own naivete here, after all, and she wishes maybe someone more knowledgeable like Azusa or Ritsuko could be telling her what to say.
But they aren't here (thankfully). And she is. And those loneliness issues cut straight to the core. Sayaka's seen her secret. Never before has she realized that their secrets are sort of connected in their own way.
She rubs Sayaka's hand with her hand, slowly. It still sounds like pets to her, but she has a mind for animal metaphors. Dogs on a leash, dressed to perform or pitted against each other.]
I never knew all that. Of course I didn't, I mean...I never really asked ya, did I? I'm sorry, Sayaka. I wish I'd talked to you about this sooner.
[This isn't about her, but she's gonna try to relate. Also, damn. 100 million? She's not there yet herself.]
When I had that dream, it terrified me. What if I didn't make it back to the set on time? What if no one ever found me? I was terrified when I woke up that mornin'. Somethin' like that, I thought...maybe when I get out of here, I'm not even gonna be able to be an idol anymore. So...I think I understand that fear, at least a little. Because I love that feel when I perform, too.
[But. Geez.]
I hate that, too. I hate all of it. At first, I was kinda afraid of your secret. I thought maybe you hated idols or me or somethin', but...but now I see it's not like that all. You're not bein' treated well. And none of that's your fault. You just want to feel all those good things, to be happy and feel lively, right?
[Her voice finds some conviction. She's fighting the urge to sniffle herself.]
I hate that this place makes you feel free. Sayaka, I want to see you get out of here. I want to see you in a world that lets you do what you want. I want to see you make your own decisions and make people happy in your own way! So...so if there's every anythin' ya need, I want you to come to me, alright?
[That doesn't really solve any problems, but she can at least promise she'll do her best.]
I don't mind if ya envy me. There's plenty of people I've envied, too...even here. Rin for being so smart, and Elda for bein' so confident. But someday, you're gonna be in a place where you don't have to envy anyone for long. That's what I want to see.
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But they aren't here (thankfully). And she is. And those loneliness issues cut straight to the core. Sayaka's seen her secret. Never before has she realized that their secrets are sort of connected in their own way.
She rubs Sayaka's hand with her hand, slowly. It still sounds like pets to her, but she has a mind for animal metaphors. Dogs on a leash, dressed to perform or pitted against each other.]
I never knew all that. Of course I didn't, I mean...I never really asked ya, did I? I'm sorry, Sayaka. I wish I'd talked to you about this sooner.
[This isn't about her, but she's gonna try to relate. Also, damn. 100 million? She's not there yet herself.]
When I had that dream, it terrified me. What if I didn't make it back to the set on time? What if no one ever found me? I was terrified when I woke up that mornin'. Somethin' like that, I thought...maybe when I get out of here, I'm not even gonna be able to be an idol anymore. So...I think I understand that fear, at least a little. Because I love that feel when I perform, too.
[But. Geez.]
I hate that, too. I hate all of it. At first, I was kinda afraid of your secret. I thought maybe you hated idols or me or somethin', but...but now I see it's not like that all. You're not bein' treated well. And none of that's your fault. You just want to feel all those good things, to be happy and feel lively, right?
[Her voice finds some conviction. She's fighting the urge to sniffle herself.]
I hate that this place makes you feel free. Sayaka, I want to see you get out of here. I want to see you in a world that lets you do what you want. I want to see you make your own decisions and make people happy in your own way! So...so if there's every anythin' ya need, I want you to come to me, alright?
[That doesn't really solve any problems, but she can at least promise she'll do her best.]
I don't mind if ya envy me. There's plenty of people I've envied, too...even here. Rin for being so smart, and Elda for bein' so confident. But someday, you're gonna be in a place where you don't have to envy anyone for long. That's what I want to see.