One day we'll reach to emotions: unexplored, unprecedented

[matchbreaker]

[ Sometime shortly after the trial small notes will be folded underneath the doors of everyone still alive, and also posted to the staircase leading up to the upper floors. Not many of you have probably seen Elda's penmanship yet unless you checked that Penmanship check a while back, but it's impossibly impeccable fancy cursive script, to match with her old timey appearance. ... She also writes a lot more proper than she talks. ]

To My Fellows,

The half of you who didn't assist me in this are cordially invited to a celebration of our continued living, and to the memories of those who aren't. We are a mismatched group,
but it has become increasingly clear that we are together in this. Do not allow yourself to be alone.

We will be congregating in the ballroom for the rest of the night.

Better chefs than I will be providing food.

Sincerely,
Elda Marker

[ she's being somewhat facetious about half the group, but the fact does remain that she got more offers than she expected, when she set out to do this. She had expected that Sayaka would help, and indeed both her and Alex provide cookies and curry for the tables. Elda herself sets up the tables, dotting one longer central one made of smaller ones in the ballroom for things to sit on. The bulk of the food's provided by Tarrlok of all people, Chinese food by any other name. Susan, bless her, provides alcohol. Hibki, once she was clean, decided to run backup on preparing the food.

And then perhaps fittingly, Aligula provided the decorations. Steamers line the room, and little cut outs hang around. At Elda's instruction, it's a mix of cats, snakes, and bats. The majority of them have little faces on them. And finally, as and afterthought more than anything else, Elda makes some tea.

... Said tea is black tea and is impossibly dark and bitter because she can't taste it, but maybe that's what you want on a night like this. Who knows. ]

Comments

[firstaid]

[It is ironic, isn't it? She sighs a bit and forces a small smile as she remembers telling him something similar. When he wondered why he should bother with friends and she told him to keep hoping.

She had lost people she wanted to befriend so she tried to keep hope.

...it's getting harder and harder now.

...it's not the first time she's given up hope, either.]

I know I can't give up on others. It's... not fair to them.

[notaccurate]

It's not fair to yourself either. I can tell that you like being with others.

[firstaid]

[There's no retort from Estelle because Luca is ultimately correct. She... loves being around people.]

I do, but... in a place like this... I need to be careful, right?

[Except she's over-correcting by a lot now.]

[notaccurate]

Careful, yes. But cutting yourself off from everyone won't help either. You need to have balance. You can be friendly and get along with people without trusting them with your life.

[firstaid]

...I know.

[Except she doesn't. She doesn't understand how you can be friends and not trust them. Then again, not having relationships that she's had before now due to be isolated didn't help her learn and understand this.]

[notaccurate]

[It's okay, she'll learn. It's part of growing up.

Luca offers her a smile.]

I know it's tough, but you're not alone, alright? At the very least, I will be there to help you.

[firstaid]

Thank you, Luca, I believe you are there for me. And I have Yuri, too.

[So having two people isn't so bad. She is a naturally trusting person, so to think about distrust... it hurts.]

[notaccurate]

He is a good person to trust too.

[Yuri is good people. He will keep Estelle safe, if anything happens.]

[firstaid]

He is. He's helped me through a lot of things back home and has been a wonderful support here for me.

[So Estelle knows Yuri will keep her safe.]

[notaccurate]

Mmm, he really has.

[Luca might be just a little too fond of him, if he's honest.

He's also holding onto that poetry book a little tighter now. Something for another time, perhaps.]

He may need others to keep an eye out for him as well, though. He can be a bit oblivious at times.

[firstaid]

That's what Flynn would always say. He spends so much time caring about others that he forgets to look out for himself at times. To be blunt, he's rather self-sacrificial.

[Though she hasn't seen so much of that here, so that's good? But Yuri's been keeping on a brave face for Estelle when she's down and she appreciates it.]

[notaccurate]

[He's trying to protect them, maybe. Or maybe he's like that more with his friends.]

All the more reason to look after him, then. I suppose I'll have to cook for him more often, he seems to forget to eat sometimes.

[firstaid]

Yes, please do that if he's not eating. I try to look after him, but sometimes even I have difficulties reading him. Then again, I would appreciate if more than one person kept an eye on him since he tries to pretend he's always okay.

[Then he goes off and kills people because 'someone had to do the job'. And hurts himself. He tried pushing Estelle away at that time, too.]

[notaccurate]

[Yeah no let's have no killing here, that is very much something that needs to be prevented.]

I think the difficulty goes both ways. He didn't notice at all the one time I tried flirting with him.

[firstaid]

Yes, he does seem to be obli--

[Wait...

...wait...

...waiiiiiit.

That and the poems. It clicks...

...but then...]

Aren't you married? Why are you flirting with Yuri if you're married?

[notaccurate]

[Oh. Right. Some people aren't from the past where something like that is treated differently.]

It was one time to see if he would even notice. And he didn't, by the way.

[firstaid]

[It's not really a big deal to her. Guys like guys, she guesses? And girls like girls? She thinks? She's not sure how it goes, really... Just to make babies you need--

--right anyway!]

He may have, however, he likes to pretend that he doesn't notice those kinds of affections and that if affects him. Then again, he is also oblivious.

[There's a moment of silence as she rethinks their conversations.]

So... are things not going well with your wife, then?

[notaccurate]

[This is not a conversation he wanted to have. Ever. It's better when he can just pretend she doesn't exist for a few years at a time.]

Estelle, there's nothing wrong with flirting with someone, even if you are married. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong between my wife and I.

[No, the wrong part comes much later, after a few drinks and some bad decisions.]

[firstaid]

But you shouldn't flirt with anyone if you're already committed.

[Then again she has really conservative views on romance, so...

I'm sorry this is a conversation that is happening.]

[notaccurate]

[There's a lot of things he shouldn't be doing if he's being honest about it, but. Well.

Yeah.]

Do you recall how we just had a conversation about how men aren't usually the perfect princes like what you read about in your books? As it turns out, that applies to everyone, not just potential husbands.

I'm sorry to disappoint, but even I have my flaws.

[firstaid]

[There's no judgement from Estelle. She's aware people have flaws so she just smiles.]

Even if you have your flaws, you're still a good and nice person. That doesn't change that.

[notaccurate]

[...well he was totally getting defensive there because he expected some judgemental attitude about it, but. It looks like he forgot just what kind of person Estelle is.

And now he feels really bad about assuming that of her.]

I...Yes. I suppose so.

...

[God, he's an idiot.]

I. I should be going now, it's getting late. My apologies for keeping you up so late, Estelle.

[firstaid]

[She nods.]

Please get some rest, Luca. I hope you have a good dream.

[notaccurate]

Yes, you too as well.

[He's not going to sleep for a while because he's going to be up for a bit wondering why he is the way he is.]