trustfell | I dreamed of a world so far from here that's not on the map

To my Fellows,

What is "good" and what is "evil" is something that can be debated for longer than most of you will ever live, as is the nature of men. These debates are without meaning in my eyes. Despite that man's belief, men are not born to be good or evil, and what flaws they have in personality or character are things that can be overcome through their choices. Both for better and, as we've seen, for worse.

Life is not without suffering, but I should hope that every one of you is loved by someone. Loves someone. Many of you probably know that some of those loved ones are entering into an experience similar to our own. The terror of that is an undeniable sword which hangs above our heads.

Do not isolate yourselves, and hold onto what belief will best inspire you. And if you wish to join us for another one of these gatherings, meet us in the dining hall at 8PM.

Sincerely yours,
Elda Marker

PS: Those who can taste will once more provide food.

[ Well that sure is a lot of words which is being put under your doors, put on the fridge, and generally distributed around. It... uh, sure is a letter? It's in the same impossibly perfect cursive as last week, and is written with an almost angry bravado. Because even if she was vindicated at the end there, she was vindicated by a (by his own admission) evil priest. So. That feels bad.

Anyway, with some effort, the dining hall (which now has a lot of candles at Cabanela's little shrine, even with adding the two more here) is filled with food: Susan's got the booze as usual but also a big pot of mac and cheese. Adelina's done her noble best with some finger sandwiches. Yuri's brought some sweets that Estelle might've made. As for Elda, well, she still basically can't cook, so what she provides instead is:

A few board games including a Settlers of Catan, Sorry, and Candyland knock off. I guess we're playing games. Or at least she's suggesting it, who knew? ]

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[...is he really? Maybe it's just...

...Mmph, Sayaka recedes a bit closer to herself.]

...I don't know. Adelina-san, I... [Sayaka runs a hand through her hair.] It's...just something I've been struggling with, since I began remembering what happened to me and...how I died...

Yes, that's him. I wasn't too sure at first, but... given the context, he couldn't be anybody else.

[There's another hesitation, because hearing about that still doesn't sit right with her. Still, she continues on.]

Would you like to tell me about what happened to you?

...It...started with a motive. Of my fellow idols...they were all collapsed on the stage, with that stupid bear that trapped us there in the background.

[Sayaka doesn't quite look up when she says that, but she grips the hand with those stones a little tighter. Keep going, girl, you can do this.]

My friend...Naegi-kun, he came after me when I ran away from the motive. He tried to comfort me, but...later on that evening, I came to find him and switch rooms with him. I faked the fact that...I was scared, that someone was trying to come after me...because I'd sent an invitation to another boy, to talk in 'my' room. I intended to kill him and frame Naegi-kun, but...

Well. That boy killed me, first.

He's three years older than me.

[he pauses for a moment or so, then grumbles a bit.]

I can't believe he's even aging better than I am...

[She listens to the entirety of the story, and then she takes a moment to think. She doesn't want to give empty platitudes without really thinking about it, and she imagines Sakura wouldn't want that, either.]

...I am sorry.

[That she was put into a situation where she felt she needed to do something like that, and that it ended in her own death. But there's one question she wants to ask.]

Sayaka, do you regret what you did? And not simply because of how it ended for you.

Right back at you.

[ Now they look ridiculous, as Yuri is being pushed back a little and he's still trying to reach for the pillow.

It just looks like some kind of stupid flailing because this is where we're at today. ]

[Oh god.]

Well I wouldn't say you look old, necessarily. 'More responsible' would be more accurate, I think.

[That is absolutely the kind of day it has been.

And Luca's going to answer that by swinging the pillow around and attempting to hit Yuri with it.]

It's alright. And speaking honestly? I think your disappearance would worry people more than their ability to reach art supplies.

[PEOPLE CARE ABOUT YOU SAYAKA, GOD.]

[ He gets hit in the face with a pillow.

And the surprise from being hit in the face with said pillow has him fall off the side of the bed (since he was close to it anywhere thanks to moving over to where Luca was). There is a thud, and he sits up almost immediately. Don't worry, he's fine, except his bruised ego. ]

... Not one of my best moments.

[ ... Does Luca still have his pillow in this room though because if he does, Yuri is about to hunt it down and grab it because THIS IS WAR and it's not a real pillow fight until each side has one (and he needs to get back at him!!!) ]

[ACTUALLY he probably did! Luca brought over his blankets and pillow to camp out on the floor, so they're probably neatly folded and pushed off to one side of the room.

Now is a good time to hunt it down too, because Luca is busy having a good laugh at what just happened.]

You look absolutely ridiculous!

...I do, yeah. I regret that I let my career consume me to the point that I considered it a viable option at all, in the first place. But...

[She doesn't have her memory of how she died back. She just knows she is dead, and it's all her fault.]

I regret everything. That I did that to Naegi-kun, and to Kuwata-kun...

...thanks.

Is there anything in particular you'd like? I was just doing this because it's easy to make a lot of.

Then you are already different than the person you were when you made that decision.

[She's sure of that much.]

He said people can never change, but if you look on the choices you made and wish you had acted in another way entirely... That means you already have.

Oh yeah?

[ Once Yuri grabs that pillow he's going to be coming straight at Luca with a swing!! ]

Yeah. Well, he got what he deserved.

[It's not really enough. Especially since Rin couldn't do it herself.]

Is there anything you want me to do?

[SHE'S...STILL LEARNING THAT...it's hard after spending your time in a place that only cares about image okay.

...In hindsight, this is probably why she's so gungho about the relationships she does have, and putting names to them.]

I know, I know...I'll be better about that, okay? Promise.

[Welp

Luca screams and brings his arms up to protect his beautiful face from the horrible pillow. But he is definitely hit anyway, and it totally musses up his hair.]

[...So...it does matter. It seems like it, at least? It at least matters to the people here, and...

Maybe that's all that matters? Sayaka doesn't know for sure, but...she shifts a bit, in her spot.]

...And even if I can't change it...does it still mean that I still deserve to be able to start a new life? When...it's likely they can't?

Yes, it does. You do deserve that, as long as you try your best to not let anything like that happen again. After all... Your continued suffering wouldn't do anything to change their situation now.

[She looks towards her, trying to make eye contact through the barrier.]

You are a kind girl, Sayaka. There are many here who care about you, and... There is a reason we believe in you. You are not an evil person.

Oh, no, you don't have to make something different for me. I would be delighted to try any of your cooking.

[...They all really do believe in her, huh?

Okay, maybe not all of them, but. Most? Most. That's...more than she could really ever say about anyone in her life, huh.

Sayaka looks up, peering through the barrier herself and...she smiles, just a bit.]

...Thank you. That...means a lot, to hear from someone like you.

...I feel a bit like that, yes. Not... physically, of course. Nothing like that happened, just...

[...sigh.]

[alllllright, this is for the long haul. Susan takes a seat.]

Why not?

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I dreamed of a world so far from here that's not on the map

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