trustfell | I dreamed of a world so far from here that's not on the map

To my Fellows,

What is "good" and what is "evil" is something that can be debated for longer than most of you will ever live, as is the nature of men. These debates are without meaning in my eyes. Despite that man's belief, men are not born to be good or evil, and what flaws they have in personality or character are things that can be overcome through their choices. Both for better and, as we've seen, for worse.

Life is not without suffering, but I should hope that every one of you is loved by someone. Loves someone. Many of you probably know that some of those loved ones are entering into an experience similar to our own. The terror of that is an undeniable sword which hangs above our heads.

Do not isolate yourselves, and hold onto what belief will best inspire you. And if you wish to join us for another one of these gatherings, meet us in the dining hall at 8PM.

Sincerely yours,
Elda Marker

PS: Those who can taste will once more provide food.

[ Well that sure is a lot of words which is being put under your doors, put on the fridge, and generally distributed around. It... uh, sure is a letter? It's in the same impossibly perfect cursive as last week, and is written with an almost angry bravado. Because even if she was vindicated at the end there, she was vindicated by a (by his own admission) evil priest. So. That feels bad.

Anyway, with some effort, the dining hall (which now has a lot of candles at Cabanela's little shrine, even with adding the two more here) is filled with food: Susan's got the booze as usual but also a big pot of mac and cheese. Adelina's done her noble best with some finger sandwiches. Yuri's brought some sweets that Estelle might've made. As for Elda, well, she still basically can't cook, so what she provides instead is:

A few board games including a Settlers of Catan, Sorry, and Candyland knock off. I guess we're playing games. Or at least she's suggesting it, who knew? ]

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[ she knows it's not. But to promise something untrue doesn't... it doesn't suit how her and Susan operate. But at the same time, to say that she trusts her judgement- The woman's eyes widen and she inhales, feeling so weak all over again. She squeezes the hands and then pulls them back.

A nod. ]

I -- I thank you.

[The question takes Rideaux off guard, since he's never really been asked about that memorial before. It forces him to put some actual thoughts together.]

If you would like me to be completely honest, the candles have always seemed pointless to me. Kimblee may have been insistent on remembering every member of the dead, but I disagree. If I truly wanted to jog my memory about someone who pissed me off, I would just look at the profiles. Why do anything to memorialize them?

[...]

I am sure the others feel obligated to include the executed, simply because their little moral codes prevent them from excluding anyone. But to me, it is almost as if by attempting to memorialize these people, they're willingly forgetting how much annoyance many of them caused us.

[He just does not understand this point of view at all.]

Noatak... [ She's committing it to memory. ]

How many years were you two training for? He... God, having your dad push him... That would mess anyone up in a normal situation. I know Michael never liked...having everyone expecting all these great things of him, but...throw in the...bloodbending... I can't even imagine.

[Noted!]

I didn't want to talk, so I was in my room until just a little bit ago. It didn't keep everyone away. [...] Aligula brought me cake.

[Rin's reflexes aren't nearly as good as Kirei's, especially when she can't see something coming. Elda's able to snag her wrist fairly easily! Rin immediately whips back around, trying to tug it back.]

Let go.

Grilled cheese... Would that require using the stove?

...I am glad you did not go as far as he did.

[But...]

I understand if you do not wish to speak of it, but - would you tell me more about the situation?

[She can't properly make him feel better if she doesn't know what happened!!]

I see.

[And there's a pause, before she continues on.]

So you are aware... You needn't worry about altering the truth for my sake. I can assure you I will be able to handle anything you should like to tell me.

...It does not seem as though it would be difficult to convince him to take part in such an activity, honestly.

[Given that he thrived off of pain and suffering and all.]

Still...? There has to be something... Maybe if we try to break it down.

I- I know that... I just wish I understood the rest of him. The...why. I guess that's what he wanted too.

[ Yuri feels a surprising amount of relief to hear that from Rideaux, and he even turns on his side, to look at him before realizing it would be a pain in the ass to drink like this...so he just shifts to lying on his back again. At least someone else thinks the same thing. ]

Yeah, I agree. I'm not gonna forget who here was a pain in the ass easily, or at all.

[ He sort of understood. Kind of. But, he had thought about the whole 'equal in death' thing for hours now and his brain couldn't get past that. Especially since Yuri was thinking of just Estelle and Kirei in that context. ]

Maybe I just don't really get it either, but it's whatever. I didn't know if it was worth asking anyone else since people generally seemed to have accepted that it was a thing that should be happening.

If anything, when staying all holed up in our rooms that seems to increase the amount of people coming on by to check.

[ He doesn't sound like he's very opposed to the idea though, since uh. A lot's happened. Usually he would be, however. ]

Cake, huh? Was it good?

[She pauses, curious despite herself.]

Why does it matter if we understand him? He was... terrible.

Oh yeah? [ Well I mean she can draw better than Susan... or so she thinks. Actually, she's going over to look at the sketches. Would it be rude to replace them? ]

Well, you asked! So of course I would!

[ She claps her own hands together, grinning widely at the girl. ]

I am on the case. Myself, my son... we're all giving chase. Of course she will be - but she shouldn't have been taken in at all.

[ MMM. ]

Really! Better to be sincere than to dance around it all, right?

[ Or at least, that's how she sees it. ]

No thanks!

[ She smirks at this, tugged a bit from the pull of the wrist, but actually gripping a little tighter before she steps forward herself, closer towards Rin. ]

Yeah.

[ He'll follow her gaze. ]

...Thinking of trying to add something else after all?

Oh, more just thinking I could replace what's here. But Susan's one of the last of you lot I'd spite, even if she wouldn't see it like that.

Huh, well. Glad you feel that way, seeing as Susan's pretty alright in my eyes too.

[ He recalls a couple of cool chats with her. ]

[Man, truer words have not been spoken. In hindsight, she can't help but think she should have ducked across the hall into Tabby's room so no one would find her, but... Maybe it's better they did. She's still not happy anyone saw her like that, but she can't get Elda's comments about loneliness out of her head. The people who showed up weren't the ones she would have expected.]

Better than I would have thought. It was a little overbaked but still flavorful, and the frosting was delicious. She forgot the candles, but I think I can say it was the best birthday cake I've had, actually.

[There's silence on Rin's end. She's not really sure how to respond to that.]

[Rideaux in turn glances at Yuri after all the movement. He watches for a little bit, but eventually moves his focus right back to his drink.]

It is probably not worth asking, no. They've been doing it for weeks; I doubt they will change things up now.

[He shrugs after that, taking a long sip of his drink. Hm. Having drinks after a trial, reflecting...]

...Just like this little tradition we seem to have taken up.

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I dreamed of a world so far from here that's not on the map

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