Looks like this will be a weekly thing

[forcegalactic]

[This whole week has been awful. This whole experience has been awful. Mordecai wants to go straight to his room and deal with his frustrations, but that's not what a mayor does. A mayor takes charge, a mayor fixes what's wrong, a mayor makes things better. Even if he can't do everything on his own, he's has to do something.

Two hours after the end of the trial, the living will find another note slipped underneath their doors.]

There's cookies in the kitchen. The dining room is ready for anyone who needs a quiet place to talk it out. I'll be in the bar if you need a drink, alcoholic or something more appropriate for the underage crowd.

-Mordecai Benmont Jiminy

[There's a pile of warm chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen. Two more candles are lit at the memorial - one for the victim, one for the culprit - and Mordecai has left a pile of blankets from the storage room on one of the dining room tables.]

Comments

[zomgboom]

No, Jersey's, like. A state or whatever? It, like, used to be a country and then they killed all the British and then they, like, allied with the other countries to form, like, a mega-country. We call that America.

[This has been "American History with Tabitha Smith."]

[decrees]

...A mega-country...?

[SO IS IT LIKE, A GIANT VERSION OF ALBION--]

That's... interesting.

[WHAT DOES HE DO WITH THIS]

[zomgboom]

It's actually pretty stupid, but like. I live there so I kind of have to make sure, like, monsters don't kill everyone, you know?

[This just in: Nextwave Squad more or less hates America and continues to save it because they have nothing better to do.]

[decrees]

[THE HEROES AMERICA DESERVES TBH]

I see. What sort of monsters have you fought before?

[This has literally nothing to do with the shadow monster, Logan's just really curious.]

[zomgboom]

I fought a dragon, like, last last month. He tried to put me in his pants and it was gross. Then, like, last month I fought an alien thing that could, like, control people's brains? But mostly we, like, fight broccoli.

[Things that sound really underwhelming without context: broccoli being the major enemy in Nextwave.]

[decrees]

[Okay, the alien thing that can control brains is legitimately terrifying but--]

Broccoli?

[...Are you joking, you're totally joking, right??]

[zomgboom]

Yeah, broccoli. Or, well like. People-things made of broccoli. They, like, look like robots or whatever, but they're broccoli.

[this is where we pray tabby doesn't die, allowing me to put broccoli people in the vending machine. YOU'LL ALL BE SORRY.]

[decrees]

[BUT IT'LL BE HILARIOUS]

Robots that look like broccoli...

[Surprisingly Logan actually does know what a robot is! Look, don't ask. Fable is weird as hell.]

That sounds... unique. Why would anyone want to make something like that?

[zomgboom]

Because, like, broccoli is cheaper than real robots. [It's possible . . . they blow up a lot of broccoli.] Also, like, because you can grow it and nobody is like "what are you doing in that field?" because it's like, duh. You're growing broccoli.

[decrees]

...I see.

[...he doesn't see at all.]

It's certainly interesting. Have you fought a good number of these, then?

[zomgboom]

If I had, like, a nickel for every Human Resource I blew up, I could, like, buy a castle.

[Especially since they torched that whole field before she got here.]

[decrees]

[...what's a nickel???]

I see. I hadn't imagined there were so many of them running around.

[is it like a gold piece???]