trustfell | It's time for an after party!

It's time for an after party!

[About an hour after the trial and subsequent execution, Cabanela makes a decision.

They need to do something, keep the morale up, however little it may be.

Under each occupied room door people will find the following note written:

In difficult times such as this, it is important to carry on.
Don't give into despair; we must preservere.
If you don't want to be alone this evening, meet me in the dining hall.
-Cabanela

[Upon entering the dinning hall, you will find Cabanela sitting at one of the tables; he has lit two candles that are placed at the center of the table, but there's nothing else to note.

You'll have to supply your own food, since he doesn't have much of an appetite.]

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[Logan glances up when Ashley joins him and nods a bit at the greeting.]

Ashley.

[For a moment he's quiet, but there's something he needs to get out of the way immediately.]

...I apologize for my behavior during... that.

[Vague hand wave to indicate the trial.]

What? No. No no, did you see me during the whole...everything? You were fine, he- he was your- ...well, not friend, but you knew him, it's fine.

[It's not fine, but. Do you get her?]

[It's certainly not fine, but he thinks he gets what she's trying to say, yes.]

...I've known him since I was a child. He was one of the Heroes that saved the world with my mother.

[Isn't that hilarious? Logan looks contemplative as he speaks.]

We were never friends, but he understood me better than anyone.

Was he the Hero of Skill?

[She listened. She's trying to remember everything she can.]

You- just wanted to believe the best in him. [Even though he was an awful, self-serving murderer but she's not saying that part?] ...Even if he didn't deserve it.

He was, yes. Fifty years ago he was a pirate living in Bloodstone; that's where my mother met him.

[He's quiet for a moment before nodding.]

Yes. I wanted to believe he wouldn't leave me behind and act rashly, but...

[Well. He was wrong, of course.]

...but he let you down.

[She's gentle as she can be.]

He's the one who killed without a second thought. Not you.

...Yes. He didn't tell me he was planning on this and I assumed he wouldn't...

[Logan trails off and shakes his head. He's not even sure what he wants to say there. Right now everything feels sort of numb.]

It must be horrible, when someone you've known for so long...

[She tries to imagine how she'd feel, if Chris or Josh... ...no, she can't. She's known them nearly half her life.]

...but you still tried to defend him, even though he- did all that. It's very brave. You had faith in one of your people, right? What- what I'm trying to say is, you...you didn't do the wrong thing in there.

...I could have done more to help you all, and perhaps I should have. I could not turn my back on Reaver, however and even though I attempted to lead you all to the right conclusion, I... was afraid of what would happen.

[Basically he couldn't decide if he wanted Reaver to get away with it or not and he panicked. Badly.]

I don't believe it was the right thing to do, but I did what I could.

[He's not going to be able to move on easily, if he's capable of it at all.]

...Reaver was... he was very important to me.

[For a moment, Ashley is quiet, perhaps contemplative. Then:]

When did you figure out he did it?

I was suspicious the moment I heard that Kaneki's body was hung from the chandelier.

[Who else would put on such an awful display? Maybe Dio. Or Rick. Man, we sure do have some assholes in here.]

It was his reactions that convinced me. Reaver... I've never seen him panic. He is normally very laid-back and he's fond of teasing people, but he was short and irritable during the trial and the longer it went on the worse he got. He was afraid.

[And that... is sort of messing him up, now that he's thinking about it.]

He really was suspicious. Looking back it seems almost obvious. Even though I was so scared...

[It. It really wasn't a fun thing to see, Logan. Ashley isn't looking forward to the nightmares.]

...had you ever seen him like that before?

[You'll get used to them eventually! No, actually, you won't. They're awful.]

No. He never panicked. Even when I... I told him about what happened to me and he was calm. Serious, but calm.

[He absently runs his fingers over the back of his right hand, tracing the patterns of those scars despite the gloves in the way.]

I didn't think he could be afraid of anything.

[And that's also messing him up.]

[I mean who knows what next week will bring! If she lives through it.

Her eyes follow the path of his fingers and the outlines they make. They match the scars she saw just the other day, don't they...? What did happen to you? What was it? Now is not the time, Ashley. She holds her tongue.]

Everyone can be afraid. Incredibly afraid. Even...people like that. And- ...most people...are probably absolutely freaking terrified of dying.

[She knows she is; that's...what it was in the end there, wasn't it?]

[He shakes his head as if to clear it, though it's not helping.]

...Most Heroes do not live to be as old as Reaver. My mother was in her... eighties, I believe? She was long-lived, but that's nothing compared to Reaver. I don't know how he did it.

[But presumably if he found a way it was to avoid death.]

His time had to run out eventually. I... I know there aren't many Heroes left, but- [you don't need him

She sighs.] There's... There's this thing, an author I really admire said it once. "Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value life more." I've always thought of it like- one day, life'll just- be over, and everything absolutely everything you do matters be-before you do. It's why you- you have to be careful, you know? But...it's also that...you're still here, and you can still- do things, make things matter. Even though he's not...and that's horrible...

I hope this isn't- that this is doing something...something right. [Her throat's tight.] It's not something I'm...incredibly used to.

[Because the last time, well. The last time, she wasn't exactly in a chatty mood.]

[Logan is quiet for a moment and his hands are shaking very obviously now.]

Ashley, I understand you're trying to help and I appreciate that. However, I cannot listen to this right now.

["Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value life more."

What a cruel thing to say. He's sure she isn't meaning to be cruel, but Reaver was so, so important to him, in ways no one else can ever really compare. No one else was there to support him for four years and no one else could have helped him get back on his feet after--

He shakes his head.]

I... may need some time alone.

[Tabby's given him some stuff he needs to take back to his room. Or maybe Reaver's, if Tabby didn't lock the door again.]

[Oh, she. She really messed that up, didn't she? Incredibly still at his side, her heart starts to race. As if coming out of a fog. As if--

why the hell did I just

She nods swiftly.] Sorry- I'm- sorry, I don't know why I just- of course. Of course, you- I didn't mean to-- I'll leave you alone.

[Ah, that's--]

I'm not angry, Ashley. I need some time to process everything that happened.

[He needs some time to be a complete mess, honestly.]

This wasn't easy for any of us. Focus on finding things to do to help you relax. I'll be alright.

[...Maybe. He's not sure about that, but his voice is steady. Logan stands then, moving to gather the items he's picked up, his fingers lingering for a moment over Reaver's Dark Seal.]

Thank you for talking with me.

[And with that, he's out. You definitely tried it, Ashley, but today's kind of the worst day he's had in a long time.]

B- bye.

[A weak stammered farewell and there he goes. There's kind of a what the hell just happened feeling about her, and she stays sitting right there, trying to sort it all out.

Is this worse than one year ago? ...No, nothing could be worse than that, but this is- well, this is bad. Maybe she needs some time to be a mess too, in a completely different way.

And maybe next time -- (next time? dismally she realizes, already she's thinking of it, a rock sinking in her stomach)-- next time, she'll learn how to shut her damn mouth.]

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It's time for an after party!

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