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Week 2.
Two people are dead. Ken Kaneki has been murdered, Reaver has been executed - and perhaps most uncomfortably, the Conductor is proud of you all for adhering to due process. (As always, by which he means that there is a process, and you all are certainly doing it.) Saturday is given to regrouping and sleep; come Sunday morning, the clock chimes the hour at seven o'clock and there are no dead bodies to be found, so it can be assumed that all of you are safe for the time being. That said, you'll be feeling a little groggy when you wake up; it seems you've regained something that you didn't realize you'd lost... However, once you've shaken that off, there are new things to be looked at; the previously closed-off area near the kitchen has been unlocked, and there's a new floor to be explored - consider it your reward for a job well done. |
SUNDAY | MONDAY | TUESDAY | WEDNESDAY | THURSDAY
[OOC: Welcome to week two of Trustfell! Save your threads for coins and the coming week's activity check; don't forget to check in to this week's activity check and submit your memory regains as well!
The Letters and Switchboard posts are still active, for the sake of contacting the jerk who's keeping you here, to be used at your leisure!]
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...that's prime handholding real estate, are you really sure you want to be sitting there loganYouko's disappointed, but if she feels herself getting worked up again - he is close, at least.
As for that, however... she slips Kantarou's rosary out from her sleeve, making like she's going to hand it to him so he can see for himself--
...Only it turns out she can't let go of it, so maybe that's not going to work out so well. ]
He shouldn't be parted from this.
[ Death? Impossibility? Both are true. ]
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This belongs to someone you're close to back home?
[What is it doing in the machine? We probably won't get an answer to that, though...]
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[ Youko falters. Could she really tell him about that? How could he understand? She'd never tried explaining it to someone else. She barely understood it herself, how she and Kan-chan just... were. Why there was...
...
...She might not be able to explain it. But as for the rest - she's too worn down. Maybe later she'd feel shame, regret pulling back the curtain on the person she wanted to be seen as: self-possessed and free.
But right now, she can't make herself care.
Out with it. ]
My master. My family. My Kantarou.
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This belongs to him? Do you think...
[something happened to him TRY TO BE LESS OF A WALNUT, LOGAN]
Will you tell me about him?
[He's not sure if that will help at all, but it worked with Ashley, so...?]
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You still kind of hecked up though, but at least she was already thinking that Kantarou's dead! ]
If this isn't fake, then he's dead, or will die soon. I don't know the full story, but I know it's important.
[ ...You know what, let's take a step back and approach this in selfish terms. Those are easy. She can work on adding in "love" from there. ]
...Kan-chan dying doesn't free me. There are... conditions to what we have, and I have to be freed for the conditions to dissolve. If the conditions can no longer be dissolved, I'm... trapped.
His death also means I've lost my dearest friend.
[ That aside - Logan. Did you really think she'd just let you say something like that to her without comment? She can tell when someone's reading from a script. To that end, Youko widens her eyes slightly and adopts a less solemn expression, one that's more confused, curious. ]
I can tell you about him - but I don't understand, Logan. Why do you want to know about Kantarou?
[ Everything must begin from something real, or it is meaningless. ]
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...You're obviously in pain. I thought it might help to talk about it. How am I to understand what you're going through if I don't know the person you're talking about?
[The words are as gentle as he can get. His expression is still entirely too stiff, but that's how Logan always looks.]
I may not be able to understand your situation, but at the very least I can listen. You do not have to bear this alone, Youko.
[And that's... that's funny, isn't it? The one person who had been there to help him handle what had happened is dead now, yet his first response is to attempt to be there for her so she doesn't have to deal with something horrible alone.]
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The difference is certainly enough make her consider that maybe she should have ducked her head, rather than - unthinkingly - letting him see that. ]
...You're not just saying that because you think it'll help.
[ It's as blunt and clumsy as she feels right now and the moment it leaves her mouth she regrets it. Stupid.
She gives up and hunches over, burying her face in her hands. ]
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No, I'm not. I'm genuinely trying to do what I can, Youko.
[Sure, he could say it's to repay what she did for Reaver, but that's not it at all. He likes Youko. It's as simple as that.]
...I may not be able to do anything for you, but I wish to try.
[He's not going to try to get her to look at him though; she probably needs a moment.]
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...when she is she's sort of on her own in terms with dealing, yes.
That's... yes, give her a moment, please. His words bring her shame and would be the reason why, when Youko finally raises her frowning face from her hands, her cheeks are burning red. ]
...
[ The silence continues as she sits back up properly, shoulders slumped. How does she respond to that? If someone wants to help her... what is it they can do for her? What does she want? ]
...
[ ...She's not quite at a loss, but it's stupid. Yet in typical fashion, the more she tries to push it out of her mind, the more it's all she can come up with.
Shame hasn't left her expression, but tiredness has joined it. The silence has dragged on for too long. Quietly: ]
Please sit next to me. I'd like that better.
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...Admittedly he wasn't expecting that, but after a moment of thought he stands. He's not entirely sure why she wants the proximity, but he's never been a very physical person. Logan sits beside her, leaving enough space for it to be comfortable.]
...Is there anything else I can do?
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[ And we're right back to giving no fucks! If she's going to be this much of a disgusting mess, why not go all out?!
...That's what she tells herself, but the shame hasn't left her expression. It's genuinely what she wants, but actually asking someone - let alone Logan? It feels wrong. She feels wrong for saying it. But her misery is stronger. ]
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Give me a moment.
[Let him get the chestplate off first, that's... going to be uncomfortable otherwise. It doesn't take him long to remove it and he sets it on the floor before settling back beside Youko.]
I don't mind.
[Though it's sort of awkward since he never does this with anyone. Comforting isn't something he does in general, but boy is he trying. That's sort of the summation of his entire stay here in murderschool: #trying.]
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Thank god one of them isn't a disaster today. You go, Logan. ]
...I actually didn't think of that. Thanks.
[ The surprise has a similar effect to a gentle shake, and Youko pulls herself out of what had been the beginning of a quickly-advancing sneaky hate spiral. ]
...You're better at this than you think, you know.
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[Because unlike normal people, Logan is actually very fond of wearing a piece of metal at all times. Part of it is safety, he feels far too exposed when he's not wearing it, and part of it is Logan's a weirdo who genuinely finds it comfortable.]
I will continue to do what I can for you.
[Though he's really not good at this, he's awkward as hell. He hasn't hugged his sister in years much less offered anyone else physical contact. This is... strange, but it's not bad.]
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[ With that, she closes her eyes and leans against his arm, because that's where her head comes to rest more than Logan's shoulder.
...There are some dropped words between 'just' and 'wouldn't' that Youko hasn't realized didn't quite make it out. Probably because what did come out is the actual truth. ]
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I didn't hear that. What were you saying?
[Well, of course he's going to ask. He doesn't mind her leaning against his arm, but his posture is surprisingly stiff for once. Normally he's slouching all the hell over when he sits, but this is... sort of awkward.]
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Hm? I said... 'You're not wrong, I-
[ ...what had she said, exactly.
Her eyes aren't shut anymore. ]
I said... that it just... I'm... surprised? I...
...Why do you care? If I'm okay or not? Even over little things, like if I'm comfy or not?
[ Her voice actually breaks on that last part. This is... surprisingly distressing.
She'd learnt that he had a good heart, somehow, as unlikely as that was. But maybe... she hadn't properly processed what that could mean. Like concern. For her.
...Logan's no longer the only stiff one. ]
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[No, hang on, this is really confusing--]
You're obviously going through something incredibly difficult right now. I wish to help in whatever way I can.
[?????????]
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[ She shakes her head vigorously, but actually manages to calm down. ]
How can I matter so much to you?
[ ah, the human-youkai divide... ]
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[??????????????????
...yes, he really is that simple about these things]
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...And I'm fortunate you're not one of them.
[ Shooting him a shaky smile, because even if it's incredibly weird to have a good person in her life who doesn't need much to care about others, or expect a heavy debt in return - it's nice. It's incredibly nice, and she's grateful. ]
Please... feel like you can rely on me more than ever. It's new to me, but I like... 'this'.
[ This... way of supporting each other. ]
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...It's not something I've done very often, but... I like "this" as well.
[It feels kind of nice, honestly.]
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[ She sounds so touched - and it sort of surprises her. But... being valued and acknowledged felt good, didn't it?
She finally settles back into leaning against Logan. ]
...Let me tell you about Kan-chan - Kantarou, but Kan-chan's my nickname for him. I wonder what you'll think of him...?
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He's very important to you, correct?
[Go on, he's listening.]
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...He's lazy, and selfish, and greedy, and we're always broke because of him. He slacks off when he should be writing articles for money, because not many people want to hire an exorcist that often anymore. For as long as I've known him, he's been chasing after "The Legendary Demon-Eating Tengu" - someone who hasn't been seen in over a thousand years - so he can name and befriend him, like he did me.
Last night, I... [ yep, she can't keep her voice from breaking here. ] I dreamt he finally got to meet him...
...No, more than that. He named him, and brought him home to live with us. He gave him a really girly name, too - "Haruka". [ Youko makes a heartbroken little smile before shaking her head. ] And I thought my name was bad.
...But that was just a dream. A nice one, until... [ you know, she found evidence to suggest Kantarou was dead. ]
...He's childish, too. Extremely so. And whiny.
...I'm pretty sure he's kind of messed up, by human standards. I think he hates most of them. He would have loved youkai anyway, but maybe because of that he's got all this... extra love that should have gone elsewhere that he directs towards youkai instead.
I don't know. He's a total youkai nut. But he fights for us when no one does that anymore. That's why he became an exorcist, I know it! [ and she actually brightens up here! ] So he could make money off of humans happy to kill us by just guiding us elsewhere. [ she hums ] I meant it when I said no one does that. Kan-chan's a real anomaly.
I guess I should also mention that he loves me like family, so you aren't totally lost as to why he matters to me. He loves me, he acknowledges me, he's the reason I'm no longer lonely. So I love him back.
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