trustfell | I dreamed of a world so far from here that's not on the map

To my Fellows,

What is "good" and what is "evil" is something that can be debated for longer than most of you will ever live, as is the nature of men. These debates are without meaning in my eyes. Despite that man's belief, men are not born to be good or evil, and what flaws they have in personality or character are things that can be overcome through their choices. Both for better and, as we've seen, for worse.

Life is not without suffering, but I should hope that every one of you is loved by someone. Loves someone. Many of you probably know that some of those loved ones are entering into an experience similar to our own. The terror of that is an undeniable sword which hangs above our heads.

Do not isolate yourselves, and hold onto what belief will best inspire you. And if you wish to join us for another one of these gatherings, meet us in the dining hall at 8PM.

Sincerely yours,
Elda Marker

PS: Those who can taste will once more provide food.

[ Well that sure is a lot of words which is being put under your doors, put on the fridge, and generally distributed around. It... uh, sure is a letter? It's in the same impossibly perfect cursive as last week, and is written with an almost angry bravado. Because even if she was vindicated at the end there, she was vindicated by a (by his own admission) evil priest. So. That feels bad.

Anyway, with some effort, the dining hall (which now has a lot of candles at Cabanela's little shrine, even with adding the two more here) is filled with food: Susan's got the booze as usual but also a big pot of mac and cheese. Adelina's done her noble best with some finger sandwiches. Yuri's brought some sweets that Estelle might've made. As for Elda, well, she still basically can't cook, so what she provides instead is:

A few board games including a Settlers of Catan, Sorry, and Candyland knock off. I guess we're playing games. Or at least she's suggesting it, who knew? ]

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[Rin shakes those thoughts from her mind, reaching for Estelle's room key, then holding it to her chest. She'll have to give it to Yuri later.]

...I had so many issues with that. But... I thought she was better staying that way too. She was so sweet. It was comforting to have someone like her around.

...She wasn't a perfect person. She was - far too idealistic, I think.

[And that led to her demise. Truthfully, knowing that stings in a certain way she can't pin down, but it's not exactly from her point of view.]

You're right, though. I wish this was a place where believing in people, believing in the best in them... I wish, more than anything, it didn't bring her the fate that came to her.

...at least it was a quick death. As little comfort as there is to find in that.

No, it does help to know that she must not have suffered for long. It's certainly better than the alternative, especially given... the way other murders here have been carried out.

[Here's looking at you, Walter.]

...It's strange to think how fragile people are, isn't it?

...It is strange. People can survive so many injuries, so much overall damage, but in another instant, be killed by something incredibly quick and simple like that.

Mm. Be it a broken neck, or their own hearts.

[She frowns in thought, and resists the urge to reach for the five photos at her side.

Incidentally for flavor text, the ones Adelina drew for her are hung up on the wall with thumb tacks, just above her desk. And on the western wall closer to her bed is a painting.]

Elda once told me something. She said that people can be killed by loneliness. [...] I'm not sure why I can't get that out of my head now.

...I don't know if I would agree with that.

[She does consider it for a moment longer, her head canting slightly to the left.]

I think people are much stronger than that, on the whole. What do you think?

[What does she think? Rin's quiet for several seconds, brows furrowed as she ponders the question. Her jaw tightens, frustrated, and in the end...]

I think I've been alone for ten years, and now I know the reason why.

[In the end she doesn't have a real answer.]

[That gets a concerned glance aimed her way; Adelina is thrown off by it enough that she doesn't know how to answer for a few moments.]

...You aren't alone any longer. At least - you don't have to be.

[She doesn't have the energy tonight to explain to Adelina that sometimes she only feels like herself when she's really alone. She grimaces.]

You wouldn't be in here if I wasn't trying.

...I know how difficult something like this can be.

[Letting people in, that is. She pauses.]

If it makes you feel too uncomfortable to the point that it's a detriment...

[She trails off, but the sentiment is clear. If she needs space at any time, she'll give that to her, too.]

If it's a weakness, I should fix it... But I've always been this way. At times like this, I don't know how to be myself around other people.

I dreamed of a world so far from here that's not on the map

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