For all that's true, for all you do

[shuttermouse]

[ A note goes up on the fridge shortly after Chie signs the chicken petition on Monday: ]



[ Come 6 pm, she has prepared some coffee and tea so people can have something to drink while watching the shenanigans that will happen, as well as hot sauce as penalty for refusing a dare. So come here and have fun, y'all. ]

Comments

[blazeit]

[ He's going to regret this, but he's doing this. ]

Okay, shut the fuck up for a few moments. Don't say a thing. Seriously, just don't.

[ ... ]

Your eyes are so deep and blue like... an ocean. And, like... you could punch me in the goddamn face right here, right now, and it wouldn't hurt as bad as how much my heart just.... fucking.... bleeds with emotion for you. Just, absolutely overflowing. Like the aforementioned ocean during high tide.

[ what the hell is happening ]

It's practically physically painful, repressing all these... super deep emotions. I've never felt like this before. It feels like somebody is throttling my heart. I guess to go back to my shitty ocean metaphor, I'm drowning in my feelings and emotional whatever.

[ oh god Bakugou wants to stop but this confession has taken a life of its own ]

— Wait up a fucking second here, your eyes aren't even blue, are they. Fuck me and this stupid fucking ocean analogy, I am not doing this over again. "The moon is fucking beautiful tonight, isn't it?" That is just going to have to cut it for a love confession.





[ end him ]

[openterrain]

[ Ever witnesses something so bizarre, so baffling, that all you can do just play along?

Because that's where Jean is at, trying and failing to keep a straight face and, perhaps horrifyingly, ready with a response. ]

I-- uh, I'm really flattered, Katsuki, but-- [ snrk ] --I gotta say no, because--you know, I've got my eye on someone else, and--

[ And then Jean can't hold it in anymore and bursts into choked laughter. He knows it was a dare, at least, but that just makes it funnier. ] A-and that's the worst fucking confession I think I've ever heard!

[blazeit]

Hey, you try coming up with a confession on the spot like that! I thought it was pretty fucking good for what it was!!

[ Yes, that's the problem here. He wants to be praised for the quality of his spur of the moment fake confession.


(it was shit, don't praise him for it) ]

[openterrain]

No, it was seriously awful. You didn't even get my eye color right! [ Which really is and really is not the point right now. ] And I'm not even sure what it an ocean is. [ Some sort of lake, he thinks??? ]

[blazeit]

First, how do you not know what an ocean is.

Second of all, how was I supposed to know about your eyes, do you think I spend a lot of time gazing into them?

Third, seriously, how the fuck do you not know what an ocean is...?!

[openterrain]

You could have looked.

And I don't know. Is an ocean small enough to fit inside a wall?

[blazeit]

I was already thinking about what to say when I started walking over, okay?!

[ Not that his confession would've been that much improved if he had gotten it right... ]

And no, it's like a [ (corporal levi voice): ] huge ass body of water.

[openterrain]

[ So descriptive, Bakugou... ]

So... what? It's just a really big lake?

[blazeit]

Okay, imagine the biggest lake you've ever seen. Now imagine you're an ant. That's what the ocean's like.

[ ... ]

You're obviously not a total fucking basement dweller [ Bakugou please


it would be great for this canon if Jean were a basement dweller, wouldn't it ] so I have to ask. How the hell do you not know what an ocean is.

[openterrain]

[ What the hell is a basement dweller, Jean kind of wants to wonder, but there's a limit to how much Katsuki sass he's willing to put up at once. ]

Everyone in my world has to live inside giant walls, or else they'll get eaten by giant monsters. I don't think there's room for an ocean.

[ But hey, you know who's really interested now? ] Are they really that big? Where's all the water come from?

[blazeit]

That's like asking where all the air comes from, it's just kinda... there.

But backtrack for a second. How big are these giant walls, exactly?

[ He figures that'll also answer his question of "how big are the giant monsters", seeing as they're obviously designed to keep said monsters out. ]

[openterrain]

[ That's less than helpful, Katsuki! But Jean supposes these ocean things are pretty common (hell, his world probably even has one, somewhere beyond the walls) so he'll let it slide. ]

They're fifty meters high, and the outer wall is about a thousand kilometers straight across.

How far across is an ocean, anyway?

[blazeit]

[ Malthus just turned over in his grave and started weeping up a storm... ]

I'm pretty sure the biggest one is over 150 million kilometers. And no, I didn't fucking stutter, I said million.

[ In fact, he underestimated it by a bit, but... ]

Man, I'm pretty sure just the city I live in is larger than a thousand kilometers.

[openterrain]

... That's a lot. You couldn't even see the other side on the horizon...

[ 150 million of anything is nearly overwhelming to think about, especially when it's a span of water.

He's pretty sure the rest is bullshit, though. ]

Now you're just messing with me. What's the point of having a city that big? And how could you get food to the center every day?

[blazeit]

With a... car or a train or something.

[ ... ]

No, don't tell me. You don't know what the fuck those things are either, do you. So what do they use to get around in Wall-Land?

[openterrain]

No, I don't. [ Smartass. ] We walk, or ride horses. They still have those in the future, right?

[blazeit]

Well, that is quaint as hell. And yeah, but I think mostly rich people ride horses for kicks and giggles.

[openterrain]

[ ??? ] Why wouldn't they just use a carriage or one of those car things- [ Oh hey, he sees the relation between the two words now! ] -to get around instead?

[blazeit]

I dunno, to show off the fact that they have the extra cash to spend on shit they don't even actually need to us mere plebians? Or maybe some people just really like horses.

[openterrain]

[ Alright, that makes sense. ] Right. Like the nobility that have fancy jeweled chess sets.

But are horses that expensive where you come from?

[blazeit]

Pretty sure it's more expensive to keep a horse than a cheap-ish car? Especially in the city, there just isn't space for 'em, like what would they even eat. You'd have to fucking import hay or something.

[openterrain]

Grass will grow anywhere with dirt. Is all of your land paved or something? [ Even Trost had little gardens and stuff. ]

[blazeit]

In the cities, yeah. I guess some people have gardens and yards and stuff, but not everybody... mostly if you're rich enough to have stuff you don't actually need.

[openterrain]

[ That sounds almost wasteful, though Jean assumes there must be some reason for it. Maybe cars are fragile. ] So I'm guessing that cars don't need horses to work.