trustfell | The world is all one! Unity mind!

The world is all one! Unity mind!

[Another week, another set of disasters. Hibiki’s head is still reeling from the lengthy ordeal that was Solf J. Kimblee. But it’s because of that exasperation that she’s able to turn her restlessness into something useful. It’s too late to set about making curry for everyone, so it’s time to make some easier dishes. A replication of Fern’s mac-and-cheese, somehow she’s whipped up some kind of donut to go with her animal-shaped rice balls. There’s coffee, tea...hopefully it’s enough? And if it’s not, Rin has provided some delicious Chinese food. And that always tastes better late at night, doesn’t it?

And for the adults (or the exasperated teenagers), Susan is carting down booze from the bar. Joy. Hibiki’s never written to the group en masse before, but she delivers a piece of paper to everyone while Rin and Susan finish up the preparations. Each paper has a drawing of an animal on it, too.]

Too much has happened today. Whether you want to get angry, cry, smile, laugh, or just be out of your room, you don’t have to do it alone. Rin and I have prepared food for everyone, and Susan’s brought the drinks downstairs so none of us have to go into the bar tonight.

Even if it’s just for a little while, won’t you think about joining us in the dining room tonight? Being together is just as important as working hard. And remember, nankurunaisa!

-Hibiki Ganaha

[Three more candles are lit today. Tabitha Smith. Sigrun Eide. Solf Kimblee. They’re all Cabanela’s doing. There aren't any decorations, but the food is spaced out so everyone should be able to grab something and munch if they need it. It’s not clear how many people will come, but a serious attempt was made this time.]

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[...It's the dumping of everything on the ground that catches Rin off guard, almost more so than the question that follows it. Almost imperceptibly her posture stiffens up, her hand bunching in the pajama fabric as she takes a half-step back, staring at the pile on the ground.

A second too long, maybe.

Then back up at Alex, like the question only registered after the fact.]

...What? [That sounded confused, as if she's genuinely unsure where that's coming from. It's like they've gone off script, and she can't remember her lines.] Y-Yeah. Of course I am. There's no reason to make a mess.

You're not. [ It's fine. It's as she said, that stuff doesn't matter. It's largely irrelevant. Alex looks at her seriously, insistently. ] Talk to me. You- you can, I won't go blabbing or- you saw me...sobbing like a kid, for crying out loud, you don't have to keep it all bottled up.

[For a moment, it looks like Rin's going to be angry, her back rippling like an irritated cat's. She was fine until you started sticking your nose into her business. What is there to talk about?

She takes a step forward, like she's going to argue. But then stops.]

["You don't have to keep it all bottled up."

Of course she does. Don't be stupid. If that's what you call "bottling", there's no other way to live.

So why is she crying?]

[ That serious expression is gone. All that's there is sympathy now. ]

Rin...

[ Alex tentatively reaches out to her. ]

[At the first sign of movement, Rin immediately shifts her gaze away as if furious with herself.]

I can't believe it. First Emiya-kun, and now you. If this is all it takes to make me cry, I've really gotten weak.

[And she's not going to stand for Alex reassuring her otherwise, or whatever else might come out of her mouth; not in the middle of a hallway where anyone else might come along and catch on to her soundless crying. Her cheeks are red and stinging as she wipes at them with her sleeve, the corners of her eyes still wet.]

My room, or yours?

[ That's okay. She'll be careful here. Alex smiles very lightly at her. ]

Yours. Mine's on the way, I can just drop this stuff off there.

[ The pile of things, that she'll...gather up, now. ]

[Rin almost laughs at that, but it dies off as no more than a sniff. Alright, then. Along the way to her room Rin folds her pajamas, occupying her hands.

She's not eager to stand around and have someone passing by take notice of her distress, however, so Alex might have to play catch up if she dallies too long on their way to Room 14. Rin keeps a brisk pace. If Alex fell behind, however, she'll at least leave the door open a crack.]

[ Don't worry, she'll...well, still fall a bit behind because no one can move that fast, Rin. (Or maybe she just wants to give her a little bit of space.) But true to word, Alex unlocks her door and literally just dumps all her stuff in there. That's all she needs, really.

Then she's, yes, playing catch up, but quickly. Rin shouldn't be alone for more than a minute (gotta fumble with that key) before she gently knocks on the door and then pushes on in. ]

[Rin's seated at her desk when Alex comes in, fingers ghosting feather light along the hooves of a crystal figure of a horse that sits next to it.

She looks miserable still, but like she's taken the few short minutes to pull herself together some; her eyes are red, but she's no longer openly crying. When Alex comes in, she waits until she's shut the door behind her before smoothly gesturing to the room around them.]

Sit anywhere you'd like. It's messy because I wasn't expecting company, so bear with it.

[The bed's unmade, and there are things from the vending machine in every which corner. Including a shark sleeping bag which she still hasn't found a good place for, if she wants to use her closet properly.]

[ ...The shark sleeping bag. It almost makes her smile, if only because of one Sayaka had lent her, when she so deeply needed something soft to hug.

Ah, not the time. Alex nods and waves it off, sitting...you know, at the very foot of the unmade bed. She has the feeling this is going to be one of those conversations. ...Like the kind they'd had, the weak before. ]

I'm a messy girl by nature, so...it's fine, none of this can really bug me.

We have that in common, then. I always put off those kinds of messes, because they never bother me.

[She's not sure she'd call herself a slob like Archer sees to, but the rooms she spends the most time in at home are like this. Even after cleaning, there's always something lying around. Especially in her workshop.]

Do you think time is moving in sync with us, from the moment we were brought here? [...] I wonder that sometimes. A few weeks ago, Jericho said if we made it out, we would be returned to the "where" we left off from, but he never said anything about the "when".

[ That's... ]

I don't know. I...haven't really been thinking about it, since my situation's...strange. [ It's not entirely a lie; she's been thinking about it less than the others, though, likely. ] I'd say...it's a tough thing to tell, since we're all from different times and places.

Is that something that's worrying you?

I wouldn't say it's worrying me, but it's something I have to be mindful of when I get back, with my secret set to be exposed.

[Whatever she's feeling is hard to tell from that statement, other than the confidence she will return.]

If I return to the same moment I left, there's a chance something can be done. But if a week has passed already and there's more to come, it's highly likely that almost everyone I know has been killed already.

[For such a serious statement, she speaks completely calmly and without pause. Like she's stating facts, or maybe suppressing all emotion for now as she holds the pajamas in her lap.]

I can't estimate how many of them, but everyone I went to school with should be dead at a minimum, classmates and teachers alike.

...Jesus.

[ Her voice, in contrast, wavers. Where Rin suppresses, she emotes. ]

Were... Because of what was written there? Be- because...everyone knows you're a mage? Everyone would just be killed?

It's how things are done. Any unwanted attention threatens the existence of magic in the world, and the Mage's Association will never stand for that. They'd hesitate only long enough to determine how to kill so many people as efficiently as possible while still making it look like an accident, to make sure word doesn't get out.

Without me there to mitigate things, it's well within their authority to do so, too. I'm the supervisor, so I'm tasked with keeping these things from happening. Someone who slacks off on the job doesn't get a say in these things.

[That's just how it is, but there's a bitter inflection when she admits to it now.]

You're not slacking off, you're kidnapped. These aren't exactly normal circumstances- a-and besides that, this is bullshit! That can't... That can't be for the good of everyone, it's--

[ But she knows so little about the Mage society. So little, so the context is beyond her. All she has is this anger. ]

...It's fucked up. I'm... We have to see how to get you back before anything like that happens.

[Rin finally looks at Alex, her eyes large. They're still a little wet from crying, but about this she's calm and serious. The bitter tone from before is even absent once again.]

Of course it's slacking off. All I had to do to avoid this outcome was kill a single person, and I didn't.

I have to pay for that now. It should have been the easiest decision in the world, but I chose the wrong strategy. [She ducks her chin.] I can only accept the consequences.

[It doesn't sound like she's beating herself up for this. Rin has so much regret—so much—but she can't change anything now. Pragmatic as ever, she knows the score here.]

...But if I can minimize those consequences, that would be good.

[Eyes falling back to her lap, her posture relaxes somewhat. Her fingers trace over the adorable kitty pattern.]

Returning home as close to the moment I left is the best strategy, so don't worry. I'm already working towards that goal.

Rin...

[ There's something stuck in her throat. Yes, Alex would be lying if she said she hasn't thought about it, with some of the incentives. But... ]

...It wouldn't have been a single person. You...know that, right? It's a hard decision. I don't think you've taken that lightly.

[...]

You shouldn't look at me like that. I did try, you know.

[ ... ]

You what?

I tried to enact Rule 7.

[She doesn't hesitate saying that, but she does look away as she continues.]

In a way, at least. I thought I could cheat the system with a strategy that in hindsight wasn't clever, but desperate... I got interrupted at any rate, and I couldn't bring myself to try again.

[ Does she...want to- ]

How? ...What were you trying to do? Was it...for your secret?

[ Honestly, Alex doesn't look too... The shock's settling, and there's just this sad sort of understanding; if it was that, saving that many people... ]

Of course it was for my secret. [Rin scoffs, eyes narrowing as they land on the horse figurine once more. She reaches out to pick it up in her hands.] I wouldn't risk my life for anything else. I want to live.

[...there's a lot of meaning behind those words, especially. Under no circumstances does Rin want to die here, even if she acknowledges the possibility she very well might.]

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