I dreamed of a world so far from here that's not on the map

[matchbreaker]

To my Fellows,

What is "good" and what is "evil" is something that can be debated for longer than most of you will ever live, as is the nature of men. These debates are without meaning in my eyes. Despite that man's belief, men are not born to be good or evil, and what flaws they have in personality or character are things that can be overcome through their choices. Both for better and, as we've seen, for worse.

Life is not without suffering, but I should hope that every one of you is loved by someone. Loves someone. Many of you probably know that some of those loved ones are entering into an experience similar to our own. The terror of that is an undeniable sword which hangs above our heads.

Do not isolate yourselves, and hold onto what belief will best inspire you. And if you wish to join us for another one of these gatherings, meet us in the dining hall at 8PM.

Sincerely yours,
Elda Marker

PS: Those who can taste will once more provide food.

[ Well that sure is a lot of words which is being put under your doors, put on the fridge, and generally distributed around. It... uh, sure is a letter? It's in the same impossibly perfect cursive as last week, and is written with an almost angry bravado. Because even if she was vindicated at the end there, she was vindicated by a (by his own admission) evil priest. So. That feels bad.

Anyway, with some effort, the dining hall (which now has a lot of candles at Cabanela's little shrine, even with adding the two more here) is filled with food: Susan's got the booze as usual but also a big pot of mac and cheese. Adelina's done her noble best with some finger sandwiches. Yuri's brought some sweets that Estelle might've made. As for Elda, well, she still basically can't cook, so what she provides instead is:

A few board games including a Settlers of Catan, Sorry, and Candyland knock off. I guess we're playing games. Or at least she's suggesting it, who knew? ]

Comments

[heritrix]

[Rin tries to pull away again, one more time, but it's a feeble effort. She doesn't get very far, not because Elda is too strong, but because she herself suddenly feels too weak.

Weak, but tense in a way she wasn't before, like this scares her more.

Because of course it does. It's why she wanted Elda far, far away from her. She knew her emotions were too high, and that she'd be incited to burst one way or another if they kept going. But she wasn't expecting something gentle like this. Her emotions aren't bursting every which way, but running over instead.

To her, that's so much worse. Like water breaking apart a dam, slowly it pushes her undone. The tension bleeds out of her, but in little tremors; fighting all the way. Her shoulders shake with it, and her breath on the sobs she tries desperately to stifle.]

No, no, no... Please, no...

[Just that one word, muttered over again. Not this, please not this. The tears are already there, hot on her face, but she didn't want to cry. If she starts crying, she doesn't know how she can stop.]

[matchbreaker]

[ It is. It didn't begin as one, per see, more just a forced movement, but once the girl seems to tense up and then release the tension all in one go, the smaller and older vampire knows what she needs to do. Rin's a strong girl, impossibly capable and smart. But there's a certain fragility there that she wanted to assist with, and to that end, she'd barged on in.

She didn't know what she expected or even intended, really, but the movement now feels natural as she gently takes her arms around the girl - or well, one arm around her and the other up to the girl's scalp to gently scratch it with her nails and to keep it on her, Elda's, shoulder.

For better or worse, Kirei was this girl's guardian. For all of the persnickety talk, that leaves an impression, and now he's dead. What's more that man killed her real father, based on that last admission. And now she was denied even vengeance, or at least real vengeance. Elda...

Well, she doesn't precisely relate, but she doesn't need to, really. It's not like Sayaka, she's not the girl's mother, not even close. But she is an older woman, a more experienced one. And it seems right to be supportive now. ]

There, there. It'll be okay.

[heritrix]

[From this angle and the spot they're standing, Elda will be able to see what wasn't immediately visible before: Rin's bed.

It's unmade, sheets rumpled, but more eye-catching is what's been left on top of the covers. Along with a motive envelope there are five photographs, all of the same man, scattered about haphazardly like they were put down when she got up. Fingerprints litter the edges of them, like they've been held many times.

Rin's trembling becomes less pronounced the closer Elda holds her, but it's harder to hold back her tears at the same time. She buries her head in the vampires shoulder, trying so hard to quiet, but sobs steadily rack her frame.]

He trusted him...! [It's not anger her voice cracks with, just grief.] He loved him...

[All she can think of is Kirei's smile as she screamed at him, and that twisted expression of glee. Was that the last thing her father saw?]

[matchbreaker]

[ and he love was, clearly, demonstrably, misplaced. The woman is torn for a moment - what's the best response... to fuel anger, to allow grief to live? To trust the girl to move through it as she needs to?

Honestly...

The best bet is probably to just allow her to cry. So she's going to continue to scratch, hold her steady, and generally feel much more solid than a woman of her size and stature should even begin to feel. That's... best. ]

[heritrix]

[Rin continues to cry then, without commentary. She feels like she should say something; once or twice she tries. But the words are choked by her sobs, and she quickly gives up each time.

Bit by bit she breaks further down, until she's openly weeping into Elda's shoulder. At some point she stops thinking so much too, and she holds the vampire back. Tightly. Giving in just this once to this small comfort.

Eventually though, her fingers will begin to loosen, and her cries will die down. Her breathing is still shaky, and it hasn't quite stopped, but she's gotten a lot out. Her chest physically aches, and she feels so tired from it.

That hurt is still evident in her voice when she manages to speak up again, quietly.]

Your shirt's a mess now.

[Her feet, too, but Rin feels less sorry about that.]

[matchbreaker]

I can bill you later.

[ That's her first response. She's in the school uniform now, so it's... not that bad, really. Okay no, it's a little bit bad, but she stopped with the scalp scratching a bit ago, this time just sort of rocking in the embrace a little. The thing is... Well, she's more mad about her foot, honestly. The thing is, ]

You're a strong girl.

[heritrix]

...I don't particularly feel strong right now.

[Sniffing, she steps away from Elda, not willing to keep blubbering on her shirt. Rin wipes at her face.]

I let Kirei get under my skin. [She knows exactly how he is; the secret wall just spelled it out plainly, after ten years. Always always she's strived not to let him provoke her.] And this is the second time I've cried in front of you.

[...It's not just Kirei, really, she hates to let anyone see her like this. Maybe given time she'll be able to connect the dots and put words to the reason why she feels like a chasm has opened up in her stomach; like she's waiting for a shoe that's not there to drop.]

[matchbreaker]

You did, and you have. ... But to be strong isn't to be unbreakable at every given moment. Least of all when you're mourning a father all over again.

[ She wiggles her toes. The honey still feels gross there. The vampire glances around the room, and she motions for Rin to sit on the bed or the desk or somewhere. She's just going to go and make sure the door's locked again ]

[heritrix]

[The bed, then; it's closest. Rin curls herself up at the foot, lying down and half-facing the door, but her attention is on the photos she carefully gathers up.

To be strong isn't the same as always being unbreakable... Those words do make her feel a little better. It's something she could picture Shirou saying to her.]

[matchbreaker]

I'm still going to make you lick this honey off.

[ But for now she's content to smear it on her floor to try to make it feel a little better. But with the door secure, the woman, laughing some, crouches down in front of the foot of the bed. She smiles up at Rin. She knows it's got to be one of - no, probably the worst ... no, a shadow of the worst day of the girl's life. There's a confluence of circumstances which have to make just about everything painful. Truthfully, there's not much she can do. ]

It can wait, though.

[heritrix]

[Blue eyes flicker to Elda's smiling face, and there's a little more light in them. Just a little. Then she rests her head on the bed again.

She opens her mouth to say something, and it hangs partially open for just a moment, as if unsure. It closes soundlessly, then opens again.]

...the night father was killed, mother was badly injured too.

[matchbreaker]

[ . . . Oh.

Oh, she's - She falters a little, her gaze not averting, but her expression softening. ]

... From that wording, she did not die.

[heritrix]

[Rin shakes her head just slightly.]

It was a near thing. Someone strangled her, but she was resuscitated. Kirei got to her in time... [Her face scrunches up a bit speaking those words, as if they taste wrong on her tongue.] She was just never the same afterwards, from then until her death.

[...]

It's not like I didn't know he was a twisted person. [She looks down at the pictures in her hands.] I could barely contain myself three weeks ago, when I realized he probably saved her just to see her suffer longer.

[matchbreaker]

[ ... Of course she didn't need to spell it out to Rin. She...

Laughs a little, because, ]

But the fact remains, that man cultivated a lot of what you are. It's impossible to not have some gratitude for that, as twisted as the results are. Or well, so I'd assume.

[heritrix]

[She laughs, bitterly. If she didn't, she'd probably sob.]

He stole my life from me. [Rin holds the photos in her hand, flipping through them one by one.] It's just as you say: I am who I am because of him. It makes me angry, but I can even say he rubbed off on me in more ways than I appreciate. I'm awful.

But I like who I am. [Rin catches herself biting her lip; makes herself relax her face.] I've always hated him, but I can't picture myself any other way.

[matchbreaker]

Don't say you're awful, what's with all your brats and saying things like that?

[ Huff. ]

At least you're assured, despite that.

[heritrix]

[Rin frowns, and... She can immediately guess who Elda is thinking of. She wants to say that's different; unlike Sayaka, she does like herself. But she'd probably just sound whiny if she did...

Yeah, she just responds in the most deadpan manner instead.]

No. Assured is Tarrlok.

[matchbreaker]

... And you're Courageous. One of the best titles here.

[heritrix]

[This is actually going to make her snort, and pick up her head off the bed.]

You're joking, right?

[matchbreaker]

No? Have you looked at he others?

[heritrix]

Some of them are strange, sure, but they fit so long as you know your vocabulary.

[Rin lets her head drop back to the bed, tired. She's not sore about this, per se, it's just been a long day.]

I wouldn't say I'm a coward, but "Courageous" isn't the first one I'd pick for myself either.

[matchbreaker]

Are you going to tell me that Amorous, Submerged, Attentive, or god forbid Edifying are more complementary?

[ she huffs a little. ]

I've found myself saying often I think Indomitable is too lofty too.

[heritrix]

Submerged is just cruel.

[But she mutters this, and moves on, wiping her face again and shutting her eyes.]

I was arguing suitability more than anything. If it's complementary, then sure, I can say I have one of the better ones. But If that's the case, you should be twice as happy with yours.

[matchbreaker]

That's true. I'm not sure Courageous is unsuited though.

[heritrix]

[Would she argue it isn't? She doesn't think so, just that some are better. Rin hums lightly, running through alternatives, but her thoughts about it feel lazy.

It's only her head slips that she realizes she was starting to doze off, and she blinks hard.]

Right now, "Tired" is more like it.